Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, How Cheeply did we Get Thee

This, my friends, is the Adonis of Christmas trees.However...
OUR Christmas tree reminds me more of the one Charlie Brown brought home. (You know, so sickly that when he puts a bauble on it, he exclaims "I've killed it!")
Okay, so it's really not that bad. I guess I'm just used to seeing so many full, fake trees out there that ours pales (or rather thins) in comparison. I make jokes to Joel (it is his year to decorate the tree) that he should wrap his blanket around it to make it stand straight, and that he should wave his hands in front of a doghouse, and then wave them in front of the tree, and ta-dah! Instant, beautiful tree! Unfortunately, our tree isn't quite like Charlie Brown's. In reality, our tree really isn't a Christmas tree at all!
~Ye Olde Origin of The Christmas Tree of the House of Page~
This is the account of how our cheap-o tree came to be. It came about that in this year, the city issued an order that each tree-trimming crew should report to his hometown to clear the telephone poles of branches that could potentially land on the lines in a possible ice storm. Alice Marie fell asleep early one night, and an angel of the Lord appeared to her in a dream. The angel said, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great savings that will be for all your family. Today in the town of Bentley a tree top has been cut, it is a cedar, red. This will be a sign to you: You will find a tree cut nicely and laying in the ditch." Alice Marie woke up, and pondered these things in her heart. The next morning, she informed Steve of the plan. He had in mind to divorce her quietly over such an absurd idea, but at night a city worker appeared to him in a dream saying, "Do not be afraid to take Alice Marie's advice." So the next day, Steve took the branch home as his tree.

Today, my mom and I bought a tree topper for it. Joel was the one chosen to place it on the top, not because he's the tallest in the family, but because he's the most willing to stand on a chair and get poked by sharp branches to shove the topper on. Now, in case I don't have enough Christmas stories tied into my tree blog, it also reminded me of "A Christmas Story" when the dad was like, "That star is crooked!" and then messes with the tree till it falls too far the other way. Unfortunately, this tree is too sharp to mess with much, so my brother put heavy ornaments on the opposite side of the lean to balance it out. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough for this stubborn tree, so he decided that we needed some string to tie it down. Unfortunately, no one wants to spend much time or energy on our sad tree, and since Christmas is only one week away, no one really cares.

So yes, it seems that this year, our thriftiness, resourcefulness, and just plain not-wanting-to-spend-money-on-a-tree-iness, left us with a Christmas Tree like this:
And I'll leave you with one final quote:
"It's really not such a bad old tree... maybe it just needs a little love"

Facebook Drama

On Sunday after church, Tim and I went to the Belsan's house. There was a baby shower going on upstairs, so Tim, Jon, and I were planning on hiding out in the basement. Tim fell asleep, and I figured Jon would too, so I left Tim on the long couch and curled up in a chair. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to claim me.

The party upstairs was kind of loud. "I didn't realize you were here! I saw your car outside..."
"Yeah, well I had to use the bathroom, and then I was trying to send a text on my cell phone. I can never figure these things out!" (It was followed by abnormally loud, forced laughter.)
I snickered and realized that I wasn't the only one laughing. With my eyes still closed, I talked to Jon (who was awake behind me on the other side of the room) about the Laws of Parties and how when lots of women get together they have to be nice because it's the right thing to do, and they have to smile lots because it's the right thing to do, and they have to laugh loud at every little thing because it makes a more pleasant atmosphere ...and it's the right thing to do.
Jon got out his laptop, so I gave up trying to sleep and sat by him to do some Facebook stalking.

Everyone always talks about how dumb Facebook is because it's all full of drama and people's lives for everyone to see, yet everyone loves to get in on it all, even if it is all a big joke. Anyway, so we found a juicy facebook argument concerning muscles and who can beat up who. It was pretty entertaining.
Later, when Tim was awake and Sarah and Bill were home, we were all laying around upstairs looking at the baby-themed streamers and talking about Facebook. "Sarah? Let's have our OWN Facebook fight." I said. One idea led to another, and now it's totally ON for Wednesday night.

Yes, everyone, I am going to risk my Facebook reputation to create pretend drama for all to see and enjoy. If you've got Facebook, feel free to join in and leave shocked comments.

A Couple Loosely-Related Humorous Happenings

First, a picture to make you jealous of my Thanksgiving break:
Next, a little story:
My mom had recently purchased an antique Masonite board puzzle. (You know, the Playskool toys that have a picture painted on it with a few of the shapes cut out?) It was a basic table setting, and all the objects could be placed in their spots. Tim and I were sitting on the couch, and when I spotted the puzzle (and I use the term loosely) I asked him if he'd like to play with it.
Without waiting for a reply, I began to treat him like a preschooler, teaching him how to set the table. "The plate is placed in the middle. You then put the knife and the spoon to the right, and the fork and napkin to the left. There's a cup of water here, and finally the salt and pepper."
After a moment of silence and a look from Tim, I dumped all the pieces out and said, "Now in Español!" I then proceeded to explain a second time how to set the table. "Se pone el plato aqui." I said. Tim repeated the word for plate, only how an American would. "El plate-O" I ignored him. "Pon la cucharra y el cuchillo a la derecha de el plato."
"El spoon-o... el knife-o..." he repeated in his Nacho Libre accent. He repeated the names of all the objects in his own way after I said each one. "el salt-o... el pepper-o..."
And finally, "se pone la sirvilleta y el tenador a la izquierda." I said, as I put the napkin/fork shaped piece in.
"EL SHANK-O!" Tim said proudly, as he picked up the dagger-shaped puzzle piece and used it to poke me in the gut. The incident made me laugh a little too hard, and recalling it has frequently caused me to smile innappropriately during the wrong occasions ever since.

One such occasion happened the next day in Spanish class. A Mexican kid (who speaks limited Spanish) was confused about the word for "Lake" (which is Lago) "Isn't it 'laguno?" he asked. "No, that means 'Lagoon" the teacher told him. Then quietly, to me, he added, "Oh... so I guess my relatives have been referring to it as "Lagoon Afton" all these years." Knowing how nasty that lake is, it made me laugh pretty hard -No, it made me giggle, which made me think of the last time something was humorous, which made me laugh pretty hard. (hehe... el shank-o...)

Which in turn, caused me to giggle innappropriately in another instance. "You'll never guess what my middle name is!" a girl said to a boy in my art class this morning.
He never guessed. "It starts with an A..." she hinted. "Annie!" I said. "and ends with an N... and it's the name of a lake.." She said, giving it away. "Afton." I said, which was soon followed by an insane low chuckle. I actually managed to get serious and pay attention to the teacher again before realizing what I had just done. I quickly turned back to the girl to appologize. "I really wasn't laughing at your name, honest! It just reminded me of a funny story!." I'm still not sure if she believes me, but at least I tried...

Movie in Alliterations

So the past month, I had a difficult decision to make. I like this book, and they'd decided to make a movie about it. I can remember reading the book and thinking, "Yeah... this book can't really become a movie. The graphics would be stupid, and you can't find the right actors. What makes the book great isn't really the story; it's the way the author tells it."
Anyway, they made a movie.

The trailers themselves were saturated with bad acting, and before too long there was even a spoof of the trailer. This movie would definitely be Mystery Science Theater 3000 material; it was so bad.

Which made me want to see it... just a little.

Grace's Mental List of Pros and Cons:
Pros:

• I liked the book; maybe... just maybe, I'd like the movie.
• The only time I could make it would be a midnight showing... I kinda like those midnight showings.
• Even if it's bad, I know I'll enjoy making fun of the movie.
• Tim had agreed to go with me. (And it's supposed to be a girly movie!)
  

Cons:

• I would have to risk the possibility of actually being seen at that movie!

So at this point, my list of pros and cons were very even (leaning slightly toward the "con" list) but suddenly, a week before the movie came out, fate pulled a secret "Pro" from up its sleeve.

• A coupon for half off four tickets and two free drink and popcorn combos from the Warren.

Looks like I was going to the movie after all.
After class, Tim and I spent the entire day on the east side of town. We met up with Sarah, and when we ran out of things to do and it started to get late, we headed over to the theater. After pulling into our parking spot, we decided to play cards in the car. Why go stand in line in the freezing cold if we don't have to? As soon as Sarah began to shuffle, two screaming teenage girls ran past the car holding some kind of Starbucks drinks. I glanced at my two friends, their expressions mirroring the same horrible feeling I had inside. "What did we get ourselves into?!"
As it turned out, staying up late with a crowd of irrational female strangers is actually kind of funny. Take for example, our line:

We were standing near the out-only door towards the back of the line. It was pretty cold outside, so I was glad to be in. Six or seven people had been waiting outside those doors for thirty minutes before an employee took notice of them, checked their tickets, and let them inside. No sooner had they started walking into the building, a girl in front of us said, "Um... could you guys shut that door? The wind is really cold." Another, not wishing for merely second in the Heartless Fan award, had to add, "Why can't they just stay out there?"

And yes, I did get to witness lots of girls with plastic fangs in homemade t-shirts run towards their theaters.

As for the movie, it was mildly enjoyable in all its ridiculousness, and as soon as the credits began to roll, I turned towards Tim and said, "Okay, now lets get out of here before someone we know sees us!"

A Critique of the Movie in Alliterations:

• Lack of Lyrics: From the first song till the end, the voices singing in the soundtrack were simply ooh's and aah's and nonsense syllables.
• Amateur Actors: Sure it's great to get new actors out there and known, but what about when they can't act?
• Men with Make-up: It's a bad sign when watching a movie, it repeatedly brings back memories of grade school when a boy accidentally put on his mom's lipstick instead of chapstick, and cried because everyone made fun of him.
• Suave, or Socially Challenged?: The guy's supposed to be eloquent and smart, but all that gets sacrificed in an attempt to make him intensely hot. Of course, now he's doing a better job of being the creep who follows the girl around than the guy who's actually supposed to be the creep who follows her around.
  
• Main characters reminded me of marionettes: I can get that the characters are strong and fast, but they bounce around the forest like they're escapees from the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"
• Constantly Constipated: More than three of the characters looked like this, I promise.
  
• Sections of Script Scribbled out: "We don't really know what the writer had intended to put in this space, so just act really upset and make noises with your mouth for at least fifteen seconds!
  

"I don't know if it was a miracle or not, but donuts happened."

More old stuff...
Enjoy!

Well, we did the See you at the Pole thing this morning.
I thought really only joel and I showed up, but there were people around. I told them what we were doing and that we would start soon, but they didnt' do anything, so I just started praying with Joel. I think we should've had a few more people, but they didn't know it started, because no one was really the leader
it was awkward
and our church bought 3 dozen doughnuts, but by then I didn't feel like eating one
so we put them in the teachers' lounge with a little note saying what they were for, and why we had extra
anyway, so later in the day, I was in Prime Time (study hall) in Mr. Warsnak's room, and he said he had a story to tell us
it went something like this:

"Well, I always say my prayers before I go to bed, and one of the prayers I usually pray is that I can use the gifts God has given to me to my full extent. You know, I'm thinking about my family and how I can be a good dad and all, but always in the back of my mind... is donuts. I always pray for donuts. So today, I just got to school, when I realized I forgot to sign
my class up for the library, I went in to see if it was filled, and Ms. Props already signed her class up, so I turned around to leave, and directly across the hall, I could see a little bit of the teachers lounge through it's hallway, and what did I see, but two boxes of donuts! I always think God has more important things to do than me, but..
I don't know if this was a miracle or not, but donuts happened"

Today in physics, this girl was telling us about another girl in this other class she's in and how much of a blonde she is. I never thought someone could be so stupid, till I heard these stories.

She asked us if the backside of a map has a picture of the other side of the world on it.

She said "Do you ever shop at are you twenty one?" and I was like, "Uh... no..." and she kept talking about it and then I said, "Oh, don't you mean Rue 21?" and she was like, "Yeah, 'cause I'm not 21, and they let me in there, and I buy clothes, and they fit me..."

And then this one time she was like, "Why don't we just send a bunch of Doctors over to Africa to get rid of Aids?"

At this point, a guy walking down the hallway pokes his head into our physics class and said:

She thought pork was an animal.

and he left, just like that.

"...You see, this equation would be incorrect, and the reason it wouldn't be correct, you see, is because you can't get any correct answers out of it..."
~Mr. Shire

Old Blog Entries

I found old entries from an old blog 3-4 years ago. It doesn't seem like much time has passed until I read about all the stuff that happened. So I'm going to re-enter some of the better posts (including a few of my famous Quotes From School.
Enjoy!

My computer is still in pieces, so here I am again on my little brother's werelaptop, as I call it. It's half a laptop with a monitor attached. I hate the keyboard, well, hate is too strong of a word, but it certainly isn't high on the polls.
Speaking of high on the polls, the Colonel is ranked highest for "Grace's Favorite pet," followed closely by the hamster. Chickens are at a dwindeling 10%. Competing for best houseplant are George, the exotic Kiwano weed, and Audrey II, a Venus fly trap. Favorite class remains Lunch. In the entertainment section, the Mary Tyler Moor show is steadily dropping. Its theme song is currently ahead of the Most Annoying Song list. Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is currently ranked highest. (especially since my dad's been buying more) Current "Favorite Song" is Where oh Werewolf. (actually it's just really funny)
"...Mom and Dad, they disaprove, but they can't stop us, 'cause it's true loove... where, oh werewolf... I've looked every whe-ah-wolf..."

The Garage Sale
One cool summer morning, my family decided to go to some Bentley garage sales. Joel followed Eden on up to the driveway. While everyone decided there was nothing there worth looking at and left, Joel looked through some junk on one of the tables. He spotted a puzzle with a fluffy kitten on the box. It was titled, "Just Cats." Joel has a wacky sense of humor, so in a funny voice he said to Eden, "Just Cats...brrow!(cat meow)." He looked up to see her reaction, only to realize it wasn't Eden, but some strange boy a little older than himself, who was giving him a funny look. He just turned around and walked quickly back to the car before he started laughing.

"Man, my chest hurts; I don't want to have another heart attack today."

For Eden... and Paul

This
This past week, we found these kinda-cool/kinda-gross skeletons in our basement walls!
The reason? well, see we got rid of Paul's room because Momma really wanted to do this:
Yesterday, I was in my room, and I stopped for a second to stare at a patch of light on my floor. I suddenly realized that I didn't know why I was staring, and then I realized that it was because I had never seen sunlight on that side of the room before! Without that wall, I now can have a small bit of sunlight in my room twice a day! That's kinda cool.

Early Christmas Gift

Today,
Today, When I arrived at Timmy's house, I brought him a surprise!Yes, it was his Christmas gift 2 months early!
Timmy's surprised because, although he was expecting this, he wasn't expecting something quite like this!
Here he is trying on his studly new footie-pajamas!

Arkansas Trip

Last weekend Jon, Tim, and I went to Arkansas to visit our good friend, Charles!

I had some misconceptions about how the trip would turn out, but it was really great! I didn't feel left out from the group, and I never had to worry about lack of excersize. The first morning, after experimenting with a waffle recipe, we looked up Devil's Den national park to find some hikes we would like.
There was a middle school on a field trip, so we took the less popular trail first. On our way to that hill, we could hear little girls from farther away singing part of a song from Aladin: "Still I think he's RATHER tasty!" It made us laugh a little, and I said, "You guys should sing to those girls." Not wanting to miss a chance to show off their studliness, the guys simultaneously started singing "I can show you the world" really loud. I could fainlty hear some laughter on the other hill, before "SHH! guys! there're people on the trail ahead!" The guys shut up as a middle-aged man came around a bend ahead. "Could you guys keep it down?" he asked. He waited for our shocked expressions before telling us he was just kidding.

Three miles later, we ate lunch and began the trail Devil's Den is most famous for. We hiked to a little cave, got out our flashlights, and I was nominated to lead the way. The cave was pretty small. I had never been in one that didn't have lights or a guided tour. Tim had to watch his head, not just because the celings were low, but because there were bats hanging from them. We had to crawl over huge rocks and through tiny holes. Once we even saw a flattened bat on the floor. After we got home, Jon and Charles went to return the flashlights to Alex's boyfriend. "You didn't take a bat, did you?" he asked them. He then told them about his friend who tried to take a bat from the cave, but got fined $2,000.

The next day, we walked around Fayetteville. On our way to the farmer's market, we saw a guy on a moped go over a speed table without slowing down. As he was only going 20 mph or so, he only got like, a foot of air. It was only funny, though, because after he landed, he gave us a quick look that said, "That's right, I'm cool!" Later, as we were walking, Charles suddenly took off running, and jumped off the end of a speed table. After he landed, he shot us a "cool" look.
Later, a lady in a car passed a pedestrian she obviously knew, because she rolled down the window, and in a scary voice, said "Hey, little girl, want some CANDY?!"

Before we left from Charles's house, Jon called home. His mom had said I could sleep at their house so I wouldn't have to drive home and then back again for church. She told him over the phone that I couldn't stay in the guest room anymore because someone was staying there, but I could have a blow up mattress in the girls' room.

We got home around midnight, and Mrs. Belsan was really nice about me staying there, and told me that the girls could tell me where to find a towel. I told Dea and Asha a little about our trip, and then decided that a shower would be nice. Dea said, "Okay, so there're towels in the closet out there, and you can just use the shower in the downstairs bathroom." So I opened the door and was a little confused about the amount of doors there were. "Yeah, the door right next to you." she assured me. I opened the door, only to find that it was not a closet, but the guest room, and a huge guy from our church was on the bed looking at me! I had just enough time to say "I'm so sorry!" before I shut the door. I had to double check with Andrea that it was the other door right next to me before I got my towel.

I was still feeling all nervous, so it didn't surprise me that the next step I took sent me flying down the stairs! I made a lot of noise and hoped I hadn't woken anyone up before I went to the bathroom.

I was finishing my shower, and tried to shut off the faucets. The cold water turned off, but the hot water got turned on full-blast.It was incredibly hot, and I started getting burned all over and managed to jump out of the shower, but it was still on! I tried a few times to turn off the faucet, but it was so hot, I couldn't make it until I picked up the towel serving as a mat, and blocked the spray. I then got dressed quickly and discovered that I had red burns on my arm and the back of my hands.

It was a crazy evening, but it made a great story. Here are pictures from the trip:

Fall Happenings

Halfway through every season, I wish it were the next. This feeling's always strongest, though, towards the end of summer. Maybe it's because a lot of interesting things happen in the fall; I don't know.

• Almost every year, the beginning of July marks the beginning of the next round of my endless battle against the squash bugs. Casualties are high on both ends, the squash bugs (or SB as I will refer to them from now on, not because it saves much time, but because I may sound a bit cooler) the SB losing comrades by the hundreds, and me only benefiting from approximately 1/20th of the pumpkin seeds. The SB are killed prematurely by getting scraped off the underside of leaves ("Gross! The eggs are under my nails!") or poisoned by bug powder ("Oh, Seven! You are the last word when it comes to bug poisons!") or killed manually by my thumb and forefinger. ("Hey! Their guts must smell like some sort of fruity body spray!) Don't worry, I never actually got close enough to find out what they really smelled like, let alone rubbed their seductive odors on me, as many of you would have done in my place. Anyway, the SB have killed the root of the last plant, but I was left with five survivors, a little premature, but still fine-looking pumpkins.
• 
  
• I am well into the routine of school, and with all the small things to look foreward to, time flies until after the holidays. October Madness is one of the things I associate with the cooler weather and the changing leaves. On a typical year, by the time October comes around, every weekend in my calendar is booked with one event or another... or both. This year, I am out of high school, and not tied down by a zillion activities. Although I miss the activities themselves, I'm glad I have more time in this month for other things. 1. Next weekend, Tim, Jon, and I will travel to visit Charles in Fayetteville, Arkansas. 2. When we get back, it'll be fall break, and I'll have a couple days off school. 3. As soon as school comes back, my cousin comes to visit her Kansas relatives! 4. Before it's time for her to go back, The Kansas Bible Camp retreat starts, and I will be attending that. 4. I will have time to come home and take a nap before I have a very important date* 5. On Friday the 31st, I (Lord willing) will have an awesome Halloween party.
• 
  
• Last, I guess, it's the season of my birthday. When I was little, I associated autum and Halloween with my birthday and got over-excited about them all. Although all the things that made me excited when I was younger (birthday parties, school parties, and trick-or-treating) don't affect me anymore, I still associate this time of year with that same childish excitement. I see red berries growing on our small tree, and I have to show someone. "Here, Tim! Eat this poison berry, and I'll pay you three cents!" I go to walmart for a toothbrush, and I have to walk through the halloween aisle to see the different costumes. And, on my birthday, although Dale looks down at her odometer saying, "Look! 666! The devil's number! (gasp!) and it's the devil's birthday too! ...and I have to buy her a present!" and though I have dinner with my family instead of a slumber party, and although instead of a regular happy birthday song, I get my whole family singing "HallowEEEEN is my birthday...." in their highest, squeekiest voices,** I still get excited about it, and treat it as if it's a special day. And in the end, that excitement usually makes it one.
  

*Details I will Divulge despues (The Spanish slipped out, and I left it there because I couldn't resist the alliteration. If you have any other D suggestions, please comment)
** Source: the CREEPIEST SHOW EVER

Random Google Image Search

1. Age on upcoming birthday:


2. Place I'd like to visit:


3. Place I like:

4. Favorite Person: (caption to this one read, "Jesus or Charles Manson?")
5. Favorite Food:
6. Favorite Animal:

7. Hometown:
8. Name of past pet:
9. Name of past love:
10. Favorite Color:
11. First Name:
12. Middle Name:
13. Last Name:

Recent Happenings

I decorated a shirt to fight childhood cancer! I wonder slightly if people would mind that I turned the St. Jude symbol into a mutant with a weapon...










After going to the homecoming football game to catch up with my senior friends, Joel and I decided to show Tim a little game we used to play all the time when we were little...










It's the food game!
By the luck of the roll,





And by mistake...




Joel had to eat the nastiest concoction he made himself!
















Tim leans closer to see what exactly that is.










Here he is bravely drinking something similar to the old milk left over in cereal bowls.






Today, we went to Cow Town.
I got in touch with my hick side, while Joel got in touch with not wanting to pose in front of anything in the hot sun.
You can see that Momma took his pictures anyway.

A day at the Fair--Meet Gloria

This entire week has been cloudy, cold, and rainy. It's sweater weather. Sunday we were worried that the weather might not have permitted us to go to the state fair, but after church last Sunday, I was surprised to find cold weather, cloudy skies, but no sign of rain.
The fair was pretty great, and we practiced being foreign, wearing Hungarian T-shirts, drinking Incan Cola, not smiling, and using what little we knew of Spanish, Italian, French, and German.

We also took this video of a Llama standing majestically in front of a fan while it chewed its cud:

We got lost in the RV display, got ripped off on purpose...
but most importantly... we got free stuff.
There's just something about shuffling past booths and looking at all the free stuff that makes you think, "A free pencil?! Yeah! I want one!" even though it's usually just a bunch of junk you'll just end up having to find a place for later. "Well, I'm home from the fair, guess I should sort through my sack-o-junk!"
Anyway, I was pretty good about resisting Propane's little deluxe toothpicks in cool plastic containers, or the pretzel dip samples, but I had my moment while Tim and I were lost near the anti-abortion booth. While relying on Tim's height to spot Joel or Jon, I was confronted by an old man holding probably the ugliest free item at the fair. He offered it to me, and I gladly accepted. It was by far the most interesting thing I could've picked up, and this booth wasn't exactly handing these away like candy (or should I say temporary tattoos?). What the man gave me was actually a rubber fetus, no longer than my thumb. He informed me that it was the actual size of a 12 week old fetus (and anatomically correct). He then noticed Tim and, to my shock said, "Now you two have a baby!" We shared some nervous laughter before stashing the thing in my bag and pushing through the crowds.
Here is us with our new arrival:
The happy family

Her name was Gloria. I had to endure countless mother jokes from Joel and Tim, and he would often shove it against my stomach to what he thought was "back where it belonged." We finally decided that the teasing was not only getting old, but that it was slightly disturbing.
We were through with the jokes, but what would we do about Gloria?
But I mean, what are you going to do with a rubber fetus anyway?
The Operation (don't worry, her sole purpose in being created was to turn people AGAINST abortion; we weren't going to get rid of her)




Now Gloria can live without being too much trouble, and I won't have to worry about people wanting to borrow my car often!

Quotes from this Evening

Playing King Of The Hill on a stump:

"Watch out for Dale, she has weapons we know not of!"
"Yeah, these hips don't lie"

Me: "Benji! Don't trample my pumpkin!"
Benji: "What pumpkin?"
Me: "That pumpkin!"
Benji: "Okay, pumpkin!"
(it was then that I realized he didn't say "What pumpkin?" but rather, "What, Pumpkin?"

Tim: "Benji, you left a shoe print on my stomach!"

Benji: "The patent office never goes for my ideas because they usually require undiscovered alloys or magic."

Jeremy: "I'm trying to see myself so I can draw an accurate picture."
Benji: "Just look at me, Jeremy."

Benji: "I'm losing money on you!"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Benji: "We've got a pool going on to see how long Tim will last before you kill him."
Me: "What?! You and Jeremy, right?"
Benji: "My date has already gone by, and Jeremy's still in, but Levi's time is almost up, and Sam, well, Sam Rembolt has a while go go, but the other Sam..."

(This one wasn't from tonight but I've been thinking about it lately.)
Amber: "Nothing beats a good camp boy... except Naomi."

Tim: "Uh-oh, Joel... Jeremy's pulling the "yawn move" on you."
(Joel then shoots a nervous glance at Jeremy while he flexes his muscles and tries to sneak an arm around him.)

Aunt Carrol: "I used to wrap my boys' presents right in front of them. I didn't have to be very sneaky about it; they didn't pay much attention until it started to look like a present. I'd put the bow on top and they'd get all excited. 'Is that a present?! Who's it for?!' and I wouldn't tell them, but then they'd stop paying attention by the time I got another gift on the table, and then 0nce I put the bow on the top, they'd realize what it was again. You'd think by the third time they'd start to understand that I'm wrapping presents, but they never caught on..."

People in School

I thought about it recently, and I don't care about the people I've met at Butler (El Dorado campus) so far. I'm sure they could be really awesome, but after only 3? weeks, my Andover classmates have struck me as way more interesting.

At El Dorado, I'm taking a student connect class. All the other kids in it (I can say kids because they're around my age) are typical college freshmen. They seem like anyone I could meet at a high school, and they're pretty predictable. The teacher does not have my favorite personality type, but as I've been working on loving her anyway, I've noticed that I love her attitude about the class. The first day she never showed up, and two of the three classes after that she gave us an assignment and let us leave. Although she had a good reason to be gone, and had contacted her superiors about it, she's still frazzled and a little late all the time. This is not why I like her. I like her because of what she said the first day of class. "Okay, so you know you don't need to take this class, and I know you don't need to take this class, but they say you have to, and guess what? I'm in charge. So I'm going to try to keep this from being too painful for you guys, and we'll just go through it. You can get out of this class what you'd like."
This week, unfortunately, we've had a sub. Even more unfortunate is that the sub is Tim's teacher. He's an old guy with a beard who would like to believe he's hip and young and funny. He finishes every stupid pun with "Okay, I'll be serious now, guys" and thinks this class is the best thing that ever happened to college. He's just like the counselor in Freaks and Geeks.

However, he talks kinda like this guy from A Mighty Wind.

I also take a drawing class, but the kids in there are always focused on their work, and though I've gotten to know them a little, no one seems very interesting at the moment.

In Andover, I've been able to meet students like me who are too practical to live on campus, middle aged women going back to school, and determined high school drop-outs ready to start over and get serious this time.

My Beginning Spanish II class is pretty interesting. The other students are older than me. We spend most of the class talking in Spanish about nothing in particular. (That's what's great about learning a second language; you can answer any question however you want, as long as it's grammatically correct.)
My Spanish teacher is tall and thin with a wispy comb-over and thick glasses. He was a navigator in the Air Force and is full of stories. He has a strange sense of humor. He always talks about his wife because "she's not here to defend herself" and most of my classmates aren't sure whether he really likes her or not. On the first day he told us, "I used to like kids until I had some... Me and my wife always say that if we were to get a divorce, the first one to sign the papers has to take the kids... that's why we're still married." He has two horses, and they're his life. "Yeah, I raised them from colts. This past year, one died, and I was really attached to her. It was really sad... especially because I had to dig the grave by hand!"
There is a middle-aged woman who is only enrolled at Butler for this class. She is more comfortable with written Spanish, so when asked questions out loud, she stutters through the answer in a strong American accent, but I love that she wants to learn. One answer made me laugh really hard (not out loud).

Teacher: "So it says here that Spaniards live longer than Americans, but their calorie intake is about the same. I wonder why that is..."
Lady: "They exercise more."
Teacher: "That's probably it. "
Lady: "They just live healthier lives... (and then with a thoughtful expression) ...unless it's el dia de Running of the Bulls..."

Reasons Why Today is Such a Good Day

Hey! um, yeah, as you can see in my title, today has been an amazing day. I can already tell it is, and it's 11:41. Here's why:

1. My room is mostly clean, and everything's organized.
2. I've got a lot of gifts figured out for Christmas! That makes me excited because I love giving gifts, and I'm happy when I get it right and give someone something they actually like. Early, yes, but smart... also yes. I now have time to afford everything!
3. I've been filling out my calendar. This makes me happy for lots of reasons.

• I only have 11 more class periods of Student Connect! (that's less than four classes of psychology!)
• I'm in school less than half of November...
• ...and solo two semanas in December.

• I don't have school Fridays! (this seems like so little to me, and I'm taking 18 hours)

4. My birthday's on a Friday this year, so although I probably won't do much for it, I'll still be happy that I don't have to be in school, and that I can sleep in the next day.
5. We're going to the Mission for Thanksgiving! That means awesomeness, lots of hiking, and riding a bus with little Navajo children. ...not to mention all the good food!

"Do you play croquet?!"

Yep
The family jumped at the idea of a croquet game, after I quoted this creepy character.
While croquet is a simple game, it is the social part of it that gets me every time. The simple strategies of the game cause some (mostly me) to get slightly competitive. Then again, maybe it's always been an excuse to fight. C'mon, what other game do you hear your own mother say "Alright, Joel, you can come around here, and hit Grace, and then..." There are also the almost-cheating incidents that don't go unnoticed. Wicks are turned slightly, mallets are used to form trenches through the grass, and seemingly made-up rules are remembered halfway through the game. Good-natured arguing, though, is half the fun!

As for the other half, that'd be the jokes. At one point, Daddy said,"Hey look, everyone! It's my caddy dog! ...C'mere, Major!" Major then walked sheepishly towards my dad. Maybe it was that he was the source of a joke and that everyone was looking at him, but I think mostly it was the croquet mallet placed through his collar, turning his walk into a waddle.
Of course, there's always the sitting on the croquet mallets...


...the puns "Here Tim, you can have green." "Okay! ... or should I say croquet?!"


...And of course, what family game of croquet wouldn't be complete without someone yelling "And then Uncle Harold's croquet mallet flew UP into the AIR!" before reenacting the scene from Shelly Duvall's Bedtime Story, Albert's Bad Word.