This is in response to a blog post in response to a letter. Yes... it was my turn to be HOME ALONE!! this isYou know... I actually think bunny ears would improve that picture... just look at those teeth! I ate out with the ladies from the church, and we had a good time, and I had leftovers! This is me before I was HOME ALONE! I looked pretty normal. Over the break I pierced my nose. Most people I've talked to thought it just looked right on me. I can't wait till I am allowed to remove it to put in a more discrete one.
Another thing I did while I was HOME ALONE was to clean and vacuum! and by "vacuum" I mean, I let our Roomba loose in the living rooms. As you can see in the above photo, it left a little "present" for me after I tried to clean it out and put it to bed for the night. I thought I'd end with a picture of our clean living room (with a mysterious spot on the carpet). Take note of the kitty toy attached to our fan blades. Rids the cat of harmful energy and entertains for hours! We just need to remember to turn off the fans when we leave the house. Once, while we were in the other room, the cat hog-tied herself and could only meow as she was helplessly pulled in slow circles along the floor.
My pastor is from Chicago. Sometimes this is very apparent.
"..so they'll take the sacrificial sheep-no, goat-no, lamb! ... heh, just shows you how much... Man! I was about to say, 'just shows you how much I know about poultry!'"
This is in response to another post's claim that Joel won at the YOU _______! comments. My boyfriend and my little brother are similar in many ways. One way is these jokes. I often will come home only to hear the same things from Joel that I heard from Tim earlier in the day. Here are some of his best:
Grace (about a coat I liked): "It had every aspect I love all wrapped up in one coat!"
Tim: "You have every aspect I love all wrapped up in one WOMAN! (of course, all in his creepiest voice)
Grace: Those hay bales look dangerously tipsy. Tim: You look dangerously tipsy!
Grace: Now you have two bags to carry. Tim: Your mom has two bags... under her eyes!
Grace: I just really hope this all works out. Tim: I really hope you work out!
Well... tell me what you think. Do I have basis for my claim that Tim could give Joel a run for his money?
Last Sunday, I went to church wearing a new necklace I had bought the day before. Jon and Tim started to tell me about the week before Valentine’s Day, while they were in the mall in the “girl store,” sorting through the jewelry, while on the phone with Sarah who tried to help them find the right one, with no luck. I felt sorry for them, especially when Jon said they didn’t even get the chance to practice sulking!
This caused me to remember the time I taught Jon and Tim to sulk.
We were at the mall, and they had graciously agreed to come along with me to a few feminine stores. I began to notice a set of unwritten mall rules that I had merely taken for granted before. I explained them to Jon and Tim who immediately began putting them to use, with great success.
I have decided to put these unwritten rules into writing.
Considering many exceptions*, there are two main reasons why guys go to the mall.
1.Young teenage guys may see the mall as their only option as a hunting ground for stereotypical, mall-dwelling females. This is most likely because they are too young to drive themselves around and the mall is the only acceptable place for their parents to drop them off. These young males can be found roaming around in packs (safety in numbers), not yet creative enough to find a place to hang out other than their specific targets’ natural habitat.
2.Other guys may be found shopping with a female. This is divided into two further categories:
a.Gay guy with female friend (this doesn’t occur as often, especially in Kansas)
b.Guy with girlfriend. In this case, 96% of the time, the man spends his whole time trying very hard not to look like the previous category. The following, is what I taught Jon and Tim, and hope that many other men will be able to use it in similar situations:
First, it is extremely important to hold the proper pose. The man will, of course, cross his arms. This is either because he does not want to appear the slightest bit comfortable in his surroundings, or he actually is intimidated. Any extra manliness is desirable, so the fists can be pressed against the underside of the biceps for the classic Uncle Rico Technique.The man should then attempt to hover close to the female (to make it apparent that he’s with her) yet far from the clothes (to make it apparent that he’s not interested in the act of shopping). The hard part is the proper face to hold. One should try hard not to let his face settle into a worried or defeated expression, yet to lift the corners of his mouth, even at the slightest angle, would maybe look pleasant, and he doesn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea. He normally will settle for some kind of scowl, like the kind high school boys use for sports pictures. Of course, this whole façade is ruined when the female, absent-mindedly asks for the guy’s opinion, which puts him in a dilemma. He knows that his girl wants him to look at that which he’s been avoiding and say what he thinks. He normally mutters an “Uh… okay.” In the deepest voice he has, before losing his scowl in order to glance painfully at the doors, in case they might disappear at any sign of interest on his part.
*The writer of this article would like to make the claim that when she goes to the mall with her male friends, they are normally not shopping, and fit under the “exceptions” category, along with grown men, small boys, and mall walkers.
I often wonder about things, as most people do, and I am going to try to start putting them on here as posts.
About 30 years from now, I'll be about 50, and I can suspect that my kids (if I have any.) would begin talking about the past decade and the styles and fads that had passed. What would they call it? The 20s? How will I know which 20s they're talking about? The 1920s or the 2020s?
You know... I actually think bunny ears would improve that picture... just look at those teeth!
I ate out with the ladies from the church, and we had a good time, and I had leftovers!
This is me before I was HOME ALONE! I looked pretty normal.
Over the break I pierced my nose. Most people I've talked to thought it just looked right on me. I can't wait till I am allowed to remove it to put in a more discrete one.
Another thing I did while I was HOME ALONE was to clean and vacuum! and by "vacuum" I mean, I let our Roomba loose in the living rooms. As you can see in the above photo, it left a little "present" for me after I tried to clean it out and put it to bed for the night.
