The Kevin Story

Alright, so anyone seen Fargo? ...ever? Well, for those of you who have, do you remember the really awkward Chinese guy who liked the main character? No? Okay, then, never mind.

A foreign exchange student from China was privileged to be part of our small town for a school year. I, however, was "privileged" to deal with all the awkwardness of both another culture and language barriers, and a rich momma's boy who tried to be sweet.
His name was Kevin Fu. (Teacher: "How do you spell your last name, Kevin?" Kevin: "F-U...heh") No one can pronounce his first name, so it's Kevin for us English folks. I talked to him a few times to be friendly, but luckily for me, Kevin didn't get awkward till towards the end of the year.
First encounter in which I thought he saw me pick a wedgie:
Me (thinking) "Did he just see that? Why's he looking at me?"
Kevin: "Your hair is cute today."
Me: "Uh... thanks, Kevin!"

Kevin: "Your hair is r(something inaudible) today"
Me: "Huh?"
Kevin "Your hair is rad today."
Me (thinking) "Aw, cute! he's trying to use cool words!"
(then out loud) "Thanks."
Kevin: "you can really see the color when it's straight."
Me (thinking) "OOOOOH! RED!"
(out loud) "Thanks."

Kevin: "Are you going with anyone to prom?"
Me: "Um... I'll probably be going with my boyfriend."
Kevin: "oh."

At Prom...
Me and Tim were talking with a friend. Kevin walks up and says right out, "You look very beautiful." I could only say "Um, thanks!" and then he made it worse with a "-I mean the dress and the hair and everything--it's just so beautiful." After another "thanks" and an awkward silence, he abruptly handed his camera to Tim and asked him to take a picture of me and Kevin together. I was glad he only danced with my friends and not with me.

Towards the end of the year, we were allowed to sign up for partners to walk with at graduation. I thought about asking one of my closer guy friends to walk, and it'd be all sentimental because we were in school forever together in all the "'special'" classes and whatnot, but I decided not to after thinking that I'd just wait till someone asked.
The next day, Kevin walked up to me and said, "Will you go to graduation with me?"
I said I would and didn't regret it till a while later when he gave me a buttload of gifts from China. The whole class was crowded around me before he gave it to me, and the two other girls in the class said, "Where's my present, Kevin?" There was a card, but I forgot about it till right before track practice.
"SHOW ME THE CARD!" my friend Mirtill said. I had forgotten about it, so I hurried to get it open. It was a cute little card with a flower that said "I LOVE YOU" underneath it, in smaller print, it read, "Making love was just for fun" Needless to say, the locker room was filled with whatever noise that's appropriate for such an occasion.
By the time graduation came along, I was already regretting my decision of walking with Kevin. I had to sit in the back of the class in a near empty row, while my friends were in the front. It went okay, though, except for right before we went out to the gym.
It was necessary to line up and walk through the back halways to get there, and a sappy teacher who will remain nameless said, "Now we will take our last walk through the halls of HHS. You can walk by your partner and share all the memories you've had..."
Imediately, a this thought went through my head:
"Hey, Kevin! Remember the time you accidentally gave me a card that implied we had SEX?! Yeah, that was GREAT!"