Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, How Cheeply did we Get Thee

This, my friends, is the Adonis of Christmas trees.However...
OUR Christmas tree reminds me more of the one Charlie Brown brought home. (You know, so sickly that when he puts a bauble on it, he exclaims "I've killed it!")
Okay, so it's really not that bad. I guess I'm just used to seeing so many full, fake trees out there that ours pales (or rather thins) in comparison. I make jokes to Joel (it is his year to decorate the tree) that he should wrap his blanket around it to make it stand straight, and that he should wave his hands in front of a doghouse, and then wave them in front of the tree, and ta-dah! Instant, beautiful tree! Unfortunately, our tree isn't quite like Charlie Brown's. In reality, our tree really isn't a Christmas tree at all!
~Ye Olde Origin of The Christmas Tree of the House of Page~
This is the account of how our cheap-o tree came to be. It came about that in this year, the city issued an order that each tree-trimming crew should report to his hometown to clear the telephone poles of branches that could potentially land on the lines in a possible ice storm. Alice Marie fell asleep early one night, and an angel of the Lord appeared to her in a dream. The angel said, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great savings that will be for all your family. Today in the town of Bentley a tree top has been cut, it is a cedar, red. This will be a sign to you: You will find a tree cut nicely and laying in the ditch." Alice Marie woke up, and pondered these things in her heart. The next morning, she informed Steve of the plan. He had in mind to divorce her quietly over such an absurd idea, but at night a city worker appeared to him in a dream saying, "Do not be afraid to take Alice Marie's advice." So the next day, Steve took the branch home as his tree.

Today, my mom and I bought a tree topper for it. Joel was the one chosen to place it on the top, not because he's the tallest in the family, but because he's the most willing to stand on a chair and get poked by sharp branches to shove the topper on. Now, in case I don't have enough Christmas stories tied into my tree blog, it also reminded me of "A Christmas Story" when the dad was like, "That star is crooked!" and then messes with the tree till it falls too far the other way. Unfortunately, this tree is too sharp to mess with much, so my brother put heavy ornaments on the opposite side of the lean to balance it out. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough for this stubborn tree, so he decided that we needed some string to tie it down. Unfortunately, no one wants to spend much time or energy on our sad tree, and since Christmas is only one week away, no one really cares.

So yes, it seems that this year, our thriftiness, resourcefulness, and just plain not-wanting-to-spend-money-on-a-tree-iness, left us with a Christmas Tree like this:
And I'll leave you with one final quote:
"It's really not such a bad old tree... maybe it just needs a little love"

Facebook Drama

On Sunday after church, Tim and I went to the Belsan's house. There was a baby shower going on upstairs, so Tim, Jon, and I were planning on hiding out in the basement. Tim fell asleep, and I figured Jon would too, so I left Tim on the long couch and curled up in a chair. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to claim me.

The party upstairs was kind of loud. "I didn't realize you were here! I saw your car outside..."
"Yeah, well I had to use the bathroom, and then I was trying to send a text on my cell phone. I can never figure these things out!" (It was followed by abnormally loud, forced laughter.)
I snickered and realized that I wasn't the only one laughing. With my eyes still closed, I talked to Jon (who was awake behind me on the other side of the room) about the Laws of Parties and how when lots of women get together they have to be nice because it's the right thing to do, and they have to smile lots because it's the right thing to do, and they have to laugh loud at every little thing because it makes a more pleasant atmosphere ...and it's the right thing to do.
Jon got out his laptop, so I gave up trying to sleep and sat by him to do some Facebook stalking.

Everyone always talks about how dumb Facebook is because it's all full of drama and people's lives for everyone to see, yet everyone loves to get in on it all, even if it is all a big joke. Anyway, so we found a juicy facebook argument concerning muscles and who can beat up who. It was pretty entertaining.
Later, when Tim was awake and Sarah and Bill were home, we were all laying around upstairs looking at the baby-themed streamers and talking about Facebook. "Sarah? Let's have our OWN Facebook fight." I said. One idea led to another, and now it's totally ON for Wednesday night.

Yes, everyone, I am going to risk my Facebook reputation to create pretend drama for all to see and enjoy. If you've got Facebook, feel free to join in and leave shocked comments.

A Couple Loosely-Related Humorous Happenings

First, a picture to make you jealous of my Thanksgiving break:
Next, a little story:
My mom had recently purchased an antique Masonite board puzzle. (You know, the Playskool toys that have a picture painted on it with a few of the shapes cut out?) It was a basic table setting, and all the objects could be placed in their spots. Tim and I were sitting on the couch, and when I spotted the puzzle (and I use the term loosely) I asked him if he'd like to play with it.
Without waiting for a reply, I began to treat him like a preschooler, teaching him how to set the table. "The plate is placed in the middle. You then put the knife and the spoon to the right, and the fork and napkin to the left. There's a cup of water here, and finally the salt and pepper."
After a moment of silence and a look from Tim, I dumped all the pieces out and said, "Now in Español!" I then proceeded to explain a second time how to set the table. "Se pone el plato aqui." I said. Tim repeated the word for plate, only how an American would. "El plate-O" I ignored him. "Pon la cucharra y el cuchillo a la derecha de el plato."
"El spoon-o... el knife-o..." he repeated in his Nacho Libre accent. He repeated the names of all the objects in his own way after I said each one. "el salt-o... el pepper-o..."
And finally, "se pone la sirvilleta y el tenador a la izquierda." I said, as I put the napkin/fork shaped piece in.
"EL SHANK-O!" Tim said proudly, as he picked up the dagger-shaped puzzle piece and used it to poke me in the gut. The incident made me laugh a little too hard, and recalling it has frequently caused me to smile innappropriately during the wrong occasions ever since.

One such occasion happened the next day in Spanish class. A Mexican kid (who speaks limited Spanish) was confused about the word for "Lake" (which is Lago) "Isn't it 'laguno?" he asked. "No, that means 'Lagoon" the teacher told him. Then quietly, to me, he added, "Oh... so I guess my relatives have been referring to it as "Lagoon Afton" all these years." Knowing how nasty that lake is, it made me laugh pretty hard -No, it made me giggle, which made me think of the last time something was humorous, which made me laugh pretty hard. (hehe... el shank-o...)

Which in turn, caused me to giggle innappropriately in another instance. "You'll never guess what my middle name is!" a girl said to a boy in my art class this morning.
He never guessed. "It starts with an A..." she hinted. "Annie!" I said. "and ends with an N... and it's the name of a lake.." She said, giving it away. "Afton." I said, which was soon followed by an insane low chuckle. I actually managed to get serious and pay attention to the teacher again before realizing what I had just done. I quickly turned back to the girl to appologize. "I really wasn't laughing at your name, honest! It just reminded me of a funny story!." I'm still not sure if she believes me, but at least I tried...

Movie in Alliterations

So the past month, I had a difficult decision to make. I like this book, and they'd decided to make a movie about it. I can remember reading the book and thinking, "Yeah... this book can't really become a movie. The graphics would be stupid, and you can't find the right actors. What makes the book great isn't really the story; it's the way the author tells it."
Anyway, they made a movie.

The trailers themselves were saturated with bad acting, and before too long there was even a spoof of the trailer. This movie would definitely be Mystery Science Theater 3000 material; it was so bad.

Which made me want to see it... just a little.

Grace's Mental List of Pros and Cons:
Pros:

• I liked the book; maybe... just maybe, I'd like the movie.
• The only time I could make it would be a midnight showing... I kinda like those midnight showings.
• Even if it's bad, I know I'll enjoy making fun of the movie.
• Tim had agreed to go with me. (And it's supposed to be a girly movie!)
  

Cons:

• I would have to risk the possibility of actually being seen at that movie!

So at this point, my list of pros and cons were very even (leaning slightly toward the "con" list) but suddenly, a week before the movie came out, fate pulled a secret "Pro" from up its sleeve.

• A coupon for half off four tickets and two free drink and popcorn combos from the Warren.

Looks like I was going to the movie after all.
After class, Tim and I spent the entire day on the east side of town. We met up with Sarah, and when we ran out of things to do and it started to get late, we headed over to the theater. After pulling into our parking spot, we decided to play cards in the car. Why go stand in line in the freezing cold if we don't have to? As soon as Sarah began to shuffle, two screaming teenage girls ran past the car holding some kind of Starbucks drinks. I glanced at my two friends, their expressions mirroring the same horrible feeling I had inside. "What did we get ourselves into?!"
As it turned out, staying up late with a crowd of irrational female strangers is actually kind of funny. Take for example, our line:

We were standing near the out-only door towards the back of the line. It was pretty cold outside, so I was glad to be in. Six or seven people had been waiting outside those doors for thirty minutes before an employee took notice of them, checked their tickets, and let them inside. No sooner had they started walking into the building, a girl in front of us said, "Um... could you guys shut that door? The wind is really cold." Another, not wishing for merely second in the Heartless Fan award, had to add, "Why can't they just stay out there?"

And yes, I did get to witness lots of girls with plastic fangs in homemade t-shirts run towards their theaters.

As for the movie, it was mildly enjoyable in all its ridiculousness, and as soon as the credits began to roll, I turned towards Tim and said, "Okay, now lets get out of here before someone we know sees us!"

A Critique of the Movie in Alliterations:

• Lack of Lyrics: From the first song till the end, the voices singing in the soundtrack were simply ooh's and aah's and nonsense syllables.
• Amateur Actors: Sure it's great to get new actors out there and known, but what about when they can't act?
• Men with Make-up: It's a bad sign when watching a movie, it repeatedly brings back memories of grade school when a boy accidentally put on his mom's lipstick instead of chapstick, and cried because everyone made fun of him.
• Suave, or Socially Challenged?: The guy's supposed to be eloquent and smart, but all that gets sacrificed in an attempt to make him intensely hot. Of course, now he's doing a better job of being the creep who follows the girl around than the guy who's actually supposed to be the creep who follows her around.
  
• Main characters reminded me of marionettes: I can get that the characters are strong and fast, but they bounce around the forest like they're escapees from the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"
• Constantly Constipated: More than three of the characters looked like this, I promise.
  
• Sections of Script Scribbled out: "We don't really know what the writer had intended to put in this space, so just act really upset and make noises with your mouth for at least fifteen seconds!
  

"I don't know if it was a miracle or not, but donuts happened."

More old stuff...
Enjoy!

Well, we did the See you at the Pole thing this morning.
I thought really only joel and I showed up, but there were people around. I told them what we were doing and that we would start soon, but they didnt' do anything, so I just started praying with Joel. I think we should've had a few more people, but they didn't know it started, because no one was really the leader
it was awkward
and our church bought 3 dozen doughnuts, but by then I didn't feel like eating one
so we put them in the teachers' lounge with a little note saying what they were for, and why we had extra
anyway, so later in the day, I was in Prime Time (study hall) in Mr. Warsnak's room, and he said he had a story to tell us
it went something like this:

"Well, I always say my prayers before I go to bed, and one of the prayers I usually pray is that I can use the gifts God has given to me to my full extent. You know, I'm thinking about my family and how I can be a good dad and all, but always in the back of my mind... is donuts. I always pray for donuts. So today, I just got to school, when I realized I forgot to sign
my class up for the library, I went in to see if it was filled, and Ms. Props already signed her class up, so I turned around to leave, and directly across the hall, I could see a little bit of the teachers lounge through it's hallway, and what did I see, but two boxes of donuts! I always think God has more important things to do than me, but..
I don't know if this was a miracle or not, but donuts happened"

Today in physics, this girl was telling us about another girl in this other class she's in and how much of a blonde she is. I never thought someone could be so stupid, till I heard these stories.

She asked us if the backside of a map has a picture of the other side of the world on it.

She said "Do you ever shop at are you twenty one?" and I was like, "Uh... no..." and she kept talking about it and then I said, "Oh, don't you mean Rue 21?" and she was like, "Yeah, 'cause I'm not 21, and they let me in there, and I buy clothes, and they fit me..."

And then this one time she was like, "Why don't we just send a bunch of Doctors over to Africa to get rid of Aids?"

At this point, a guy walking down the hallway pokes his head into our physics class and said:

She thought pork was an animal.

and he left, just like that.

"...You see, this equation would be incorrect, and the reason it wouldn't be correct, you see, is because you can't get any correct answers out of it..."
~Mr. Shire

Old Blog Entries

I found old entries from an old blog 3-4 years ago. It doesn't seem like much time has passed until I read about all the stuff that happened. So I'm going to re-enter some of the better posts (including a few of my famous Quotes From School.
Enjoy!

My computer is still in pieces, so here I am again on my little brother's werelaptop, as I call it. It's half a laptop with a monitor attached. I hate the keyboard, well, hate is too strong of a word, but it certainly isn't high on the polls.
Speaking of high on the polls, the Colonel is ranked highest for "Grace's Favorite pet," followed closely by the hamster. Chickens are at a dwindeling 10%. Competing for best houseplant are George, the exotic Kiwano weed, and Audrey II, a Venus fly trap. Favorite class remains Lunch. In the entertainment section, the Mary Tyler Moor show is steadily dropping. Its theme song is currently ahead of the Most Annoying Song list. Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is currently ranked highest. (especially since my dad's been buying more) Current "Favorite Song" is Where oh Werewolf. (actually it's just really funny)
"...Mom and Dad, they disaprove, but they can't stop us, 'cause it's true loove... where, oh werewolf... I've looked every whe-ah-wolf..."

The Garage Sale
One cool summer morning, my family decided to go to some Bentley garage sales. Joel followed Eden on up to the driveway. While everyone decided there was nothing there worth looking at and left, Joel looked through some junk on one of the tables. He spotted a puzzle with a fluffy kitten on the box. It was titled, "Just Cats." Joel has a wacky sense of humor, so in a funny voice he said to Eden, "Just Cats...brrow!(cat meow)." He looked up to see her reaction, only to realize it wasn't Eden, but some strange boy a little older than himself, who was giving him a funny look. He just turned around and walked quickly back to the car before he started laughing.

"Man, my chest hurts; I don't want to have another heart attack today."

For Eden... and Paul

This
This past week, we found these kinda-cool/kinda-gross skeletons in our basement walls!
The reason? well, see we got rid of Paul's room because Momma really wanted to do this:
Yesterday, I was in my room, and I stopped for a second to stare at a patch of light on my floor. I suddenly realized that I didn't know why I was staring, and then I realized that it was because I had never seen sunlight on that side of the room before! Without that wall, I now can have a small bit of sunlight in my room twice a day! That's kinda cool.