Movie in Alliterations

So the past month, I had a difficult decision to make. I like this book, and they'd decided to make a movie about it. I can remember reading the book and thinking, "Yeah... this book can't really become a movie. The graphics would be stupid, and you can't find the right actors. What makes the book great isn't really the story; it's the way the author tells it."
Anyway, they made a movie.

The trailers themselves were saturated with bad acting, and before too long there was even a spoof of the trailer. This movie would definitely be Mystery Science Theater 3000 material; it was so bad.

Which made me want to see it... just a little.

Grace's Mental List of Pros and Cons:
Pros:

• I liked the book; maybe... just maybe, I'd like the movie.
• The only time I could make it would be a midnight showing... I kinda like those midnight showings.
• Even if it's bad, I know I'll enjoy making fun of the movie.
• Tim had agreed to go with me. (And it's supposed to be a girly movie!)
  

Cons:

• I would have to risk the possibility of actually being seen at that movie!

So at this point, my list of pros and cons were very even (leaning slightly toward the "con" list) but suddenly, a week before the movie came out, fate pulled a secret "Pro" from up its sleeve.

• A coupon for half off four tickets and two free drink and popcorn combos from the Warren.

Looks like I was going to the movie after all.
After class, Tim and I spent the entire day on the east side of town. We met up with Sarah, and when we ran out of things to do and it started to get late, we headed over to the theater. After pulling into our parking spot, we decided to play cards in the car. Why go stand in line in the freezing cold if we don't have to? As soon as Sarah began to shuffle, two screaming teenage girls ran past the car holding some kind of Starbucks drinks. I glanced at my two friends, their expressions mirroring the same horrible feeling I had inside. "What did we get ourselves into?!"
As it turned out, staying up late with a crowd of irrational female strangers is actually kind of funny. Take for example, our line:

We were standing near the out-only door towards the back of the line. It was pretty cold outside, so I was glad to be in. Six or seven people had been waiting outside those doors for thirty minutes before an employee took notice of them, checked their tickets, and let them inside. No sooner had they started walking into the building, a girl in front of us said, "Um... could you guys shut that door? The wind is really cold." Another, not wishing for merely second in the Heartless Fan award, had to add, "Why can't they just stay out there?"

And yes, I did get to witness lots of girls with plastic fangs in homemade t-shirts run towards their theaters.

As for the movie, it was mildly enjoyable in all its ridiculousness, and as soon as the credits began to roll, I turned towards Tim and said, "Okay, now lets get out of here before someone we know sees us!"

A Critique of the Movie in Alliterations:

• Lack of Lyrics: From the first song till the end, the voices singing in the soundtrack were simply ooh's and aah's and nonsense syllables.
• Amateur Actors: Sure it's great to get new actors out there and known, but what about when they can't act?
• Men with Make-up: It's a bad sign when watching a movie, it repeatedly brings back memories of grade school when a boy accidentally put on his mom's lipstick instead of chapstick, and cried because everyone made fun of him.
• Suave, or Socially Challenged?: The guy's supposed to be eloquent and smart, but all that gets sacrificed in an attempt to make him intensely hot. Of course, now he's doing a better job of being the creep who follows the girl around than the guy who's actually supposed to be the creep who follows her around.
  
• Main characters reminded me of marionettes: I can get that the characters are strong and fast, but they bounce around the forest like they're escapees from the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"
• Constantly Constipated: More than three of the characters looked like this, I promise.
  
• Sections of Script Scribbled out: "We don't really know what the writer had intended to put in this space, so just act really upset and make noises with your mouth for at least fifteen seconds!