"Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man"

Today I read an article about how our civilization is hostile to parenting. It said something along these lines, “Long ago, our society decided where children are ranked. It’s below finishing college, seeing the world, the hope of having a decent job, disciplining one’s body at the gym, and simply having the freedom to drop everything and do whatever whenever.”  I can see that. There are countless bucket lists and to-do lists online describing all the things that need to happen before someone can be “ready to start a family.” I don’t think any of these things are bad. The problem occurs when we start seeing motherhood as a hobby only for those who can afford it with whatever time and money they have left in the end. Even then, it’s only advisable to have one or two. All other mothers, the ones who didn’t get their ducks in a row first, or who have "too many" are considered a burden to society, as if everyone else has to pick up the slack for their irresponsible actions.

I wouldn’t go so far as to complain that my life is difficult because I’m a mother raising boys in an environment hostile to children. However, I find myself getting a little defensive about my life choices. "Trust me! I take on the full responsibility to provide and care for these little ones! I plan on raising people who contribute to society! No, I didn't finish college, but that's my problem." I find the little comments by people who mean well, and the subtle messages I see in the media a little irksome. I think, “Don’t they get it? Don’t they see how important these humans are?” It’s not a very glamorous job, and the rate of return doesn’t look too great. I’m giving up a lot of things in life to do this now. Then it hits me: laying down your life for another is a scary thing to the rest of the world. It goes against our human nature. That’s why it’s such an unattractive venture in this culture, but that’s also why I find it such an important calling for some. I gain an idea of the cost of love. And when I start to grasp how much it costs, I can begin to grasp how valuable it is.

All of this is to say that if you’re a mom, keep it up! God is using your sacrifice to shape your children, and He is also using your sacrifice to teach you about His (much larger) sacrifice. Even if you’re not a mom, you still have times in your life when you put others first. How does our Father call us to lay down our lives?

"'I do' are the two most famous last words

The beginning of the end

But to lose your life for another I've heard

Is a good place to begin

'Cause the only way to find your life

Is to lay your own life down

And I believe it's an easy price

For the life that we have found"

-Dancing in the Minefields by Andrew Peterson

(If you haven't heard that song, you should listen to the whole thing here!)

Thoughts on Being Married

Our anniversary is in a couple days. Last night I couldn’t sleep, and my mind was wandering.

It doesn’t feel like it’s been five years. We’re babies. We’re still new at this. Five is a good number to be significant, as is 10. Twenty isn’t a huge deal because 25 is. Then you just have to wait around till the big five-oh and you can have a grand party. Those are the big anniversaries that people make into a big deal. I, however, have a couple different ones of my own.

When I was in high school, I remember hearing that if a marriage lasts 7 years, it probably will stay together for good. I figured that’s just when things get (potentially) hard and boring. First the honeymoon phase comes and goes, then you throw kids in the mix to shake things up, and you get so busy and worn out that it’s hard to stop and pay attention to each other. When that part ends, you look around at the aftermath and BOOM! It’s year seven and you’ve gotta figure out what the rest of your life will look like.  (heh-heh… I typed “boob” instead of “boom” up there.) Anyway by then, statistically speaking, the couples that won’t last have already split up. I decided that anniversary number seven will be significant in my mind. I will think, “Yep! We made it through the tough stuff!”  (I’m not saying that our marriage will follow that statistic absolutely, or that there’s  a chance we might split up before then, but I like the idea of having a milestone for the difficult parts of marriage.)

The other significant milestone will happen when I’m 41. My cousins once added up their mother’s age and realized that she had been married longer than she had been single. It’s not a big deal, (she’s not old) but they had never thought of it that way before. “What’s that even like?!” they wondered. “It just feels like I’ve always been married.” she replied. I’ve thought about that a lot. I liked the idea of knowing the exact day that I can say the majority of my life I’ve been married. That day will be significant to me, because I never saw my life that way before.

When I was a child, I imagined that childhood was everything. It’s all you talk about when you’re old (or so I thought). You fondly remember the years when you were young and silly and had adventures. Then you can laugh at the years when you were young and stupid and a teenager. At some point you might get married which is sort of exciting, and then you hit the real world with a real job. The rest of your life is spent working nine to five in some office. You come home with your family and think about dinner and bills and grown-up things for a couple of hours and then you sleep and you wake up to do the same things over and over for the rest of your life. That’s how I imagined my existence would play out (sans marriage). I actually pictured a timeline in my head, skewed so the first 20 years took up half the space between “born” and “dead.”

My pregnancy with my first son was a big surprise. I remember taking my dog on a walk and suddenly it hit me: my life was kind of over, in a way. I sat down on a playground slide and took a moment to mourn the life I thought I’d have before kids came along. When I thought about it, I realized that not only will that life never exist, it never existed in the first place. I had to trust that God’s plan was always in motion, and that He had something better planned for me. I had no idea that I would like parenthood so much. Contrary to my childhood beliefs, my life kept getting better and better. I embraced the path God chose for me, and I was consumed by my new role as Housewife. I don’t regret my low expectations of adulthood. I feel like having those expectations gave me such an appreciation for where I am today, and an excitement to see what’s in store.

Back to marriage: We’ve only had five years together, and sometimes it doesn’t seem that long. We’ve been through a lot, but Tim and I still have lots of things to figure out. Despite all that, I try to remember what life was like when I was single. Let me tell you, it’s a stretch. “What did I even DO with my time?!” I wonder. I was not the same girl I am today. I don’t think my family ever expected me to get married. As a child, I liked to figure things out by myself and sought solitude whenever possible. Sure, I liked the idea of falling in love, but to have someone around me all the time was just not my thing. BUT, I did fall in love, and I met someone totally worth giving up that solitude. Whatever independence I still clung to, I lost when Emmett was born, and suddenly someone physically depended on me 24-7. That too was worth it, because I already loved him too. I had this new, highly portable friend who went with me everywhere. Motherhood was so much fun, we wasted no time having our second.

Fast forward to last night, and I couldn’t sleep. I remembered something funny about my teenage years, and then thought, “Wow! That was a long time ago.” And I thought about my old idea of childhood being everything, when it’s not. I thought about my aunt and about all these things. The single person I was is so foreign to me now, probably because I used to be an “I” but now I’m a “We.” God changed me for the better when He brought Tim into my life. Sure, I’m still selfish and I enjoy being alone, but I really like grown-up Grace. That Tim-guy was one of the best things that could happen to her.

"Why do brides wear white? ...so the dishwasher matches the refrigerator."

We bought a new house!
Well, not "new." It's nearly a hundred years old, and needs a lot of work. We got it super cheap on an online auction which was kind of weird. Sure we had to meet at an office to sign a paper, but we bought our house. online. with my phone.

Walking up the sidewalk with the keys felt pretty surreal. I've never owned property before. We put on a few tours for our family and close friends. Some people were so excited for us. Others simply said, "Well, I would be intimidated." After that, we pretty much locked her back up and didn't visit too often. We had so much figuring and planning to do. For a while, all we could do was some occasional yardwork, and let me tell you, it's a jungle. Slowly, we began to formulate a plan of action. Finally, we are ready financially, and the work can begin!
So far, we've been contacting roofers, electricians, and my dad. I've been itching to do what I can. I found a nice, stainless steel stove at a garage sale for a hundred bucks, so I drove that over and dropped it off. I'm going to patch up plaster in several rooms, and (when Tim and I are ready) I can start tearing out plaster in the rooms that we'll sheetrock.

With all this waiting and less exciting stuff, I've had plenty of time to contemplate my kitchen. First of all, there's this forest green tile backsplash. It wouldn't look so bad except it "fades" to white around the stove hook-up, with a few green squares here and there. It sort of reminds me of pixels from an old video game. The floor tiles are blues, purples, and neutral tones. The cabinets are painted green like the wall tiles, and the walls are painted blue like the floor tiles. To borrow an analogy: the color schemes are "bickering like brothers in the back seat. 'Mom, are we there yet? NO!'" I have no desire to attempt to tie them together.
So I am left with no option but to get rid of one of the tiles. The wall is pretty tacky, and the floor is pretty nice. The choice isn't a difficult one. Actually, the floor is a great place to start. "From the floors up" has become my mantra. I think it before making any decisions about the rest of the kitchen because everything has to at least coexist with that surface. Any colors I choose will come out of the preexisting color palette right beneath my feet.

I knew from the beginning, I couldn't replace the backsplash. We aren't in a great neighborhood. This house, while we got it cheap to begin with, could never sell for more than a certain amount. Because there's a cap on its value, we have to be careful not to pour too much money into it. That being said, I've got to do what I was raised to do: always look for cheaper alternatives.
First I spent some time looking into peel-and-stick tiles. It's a pretty awesome product, actually, but not quite cheap enough. Then I headed over to Pinterest and read lots of tutorials about painting tile. Lots of people went with oil based paints under some kind of varnish. A backsplash doesn't get a lot of wear and tear, but I was a little hesitant about that. Then I found out about those epoxy tub and sink refinishing kits. (made by Homax, not Hormel who makes chili) There're a lot of angry reviews from people who now have peeling bathtubs and can't bathe without getting paint chips in their hair, but there are a few great reviews implying that other people didn't adequately prep their surfaces. Since I don't plan on my kitchen wall getting the same kind of use as a bathtub, I think it'll hold up real well if I make sure I follow the instructions right. I ordered a bisque finish instead of bright white. Ever notice how "bisque" is kind of a vague color? It kind of annoys me that the website doesn't have a picture of the product color, but all the colors from the google image results can be found somewhere in the floor colors. (From the floors up!) I ordered it today because epoxy stinks literally and takes several days to harden completely. I'd rather get this project finished before we move in, and before we make a mess with plaster dust.

On that note, there's something else I want to use before the dust comes. At first, I wasn't concerned about my discolored laminate countertops. A friend mentioned that someone painted theirs to look like granite. I had seen DIY blogposts about the same project, but I never looked into it. I didn't believe that it would look very good. But then he said it actually looked really cool. So I found some of those posts and flipped through the pictures. They looked good. VERY good, actually. And the best thing about granite is that there are all kinds of colors, so I could do what I wanted. My favorite picture didn't come with a tutorial, just a note that they used Envirotex Lite for a high gloss finish. Hmm... more epoxy. I read that one pour-on coat is like 50 coats of varnish. I've worked with epoxy a lot in my art-student days, and I know what it's like. The idea of putting it on my countertops only began to feel less intimidating once I watched a boring youtube link with an instructional video.
I'm looking to spend around a hundred bucks for a "new" backsplash and "new" "granite" countertops. If I get the chance, I'll let you know how it goes.

Pregnancy Hiding

At 15 weeks pregnant, I sent a picture of my stomach to my sisters. "How are you hiding that?!" asked one. "Why are you hiding that?!" asked her roommate. The why's are many and complicated, an explanation I don't have time for. Mostly, though, it was on a whim. In college art classes, we spent a lot of time learning how the eye perceives things, and I was pretty confident I could manipulate my appearance easily enough to keep anyone from noticing my bump till week 20 (the halfway point). I got bored with it, though, and decided to tell family around 16 weeks instead. That was before I hit any sort of challenge. I did, however, promise my sister I'd take some "hiding photos" for her to compare to the belly shot.

Here's #1. I lucked out because looser tops and tighter bottoms have been in lately. (I'm not posing, just hiding my crazy bedtime hair!)                                   

 Here's photo #2. This time, a tunic top with leggings. If you notice, I'm not standing at a straight horizontal. That helps. People don't notice your tummy quite as much as you do when you're standing horizontal to your mirror. Also, there's a bright scarf. I also have some chunky wooden necklaces that are very distracting.

 I wanted to add that when trying to show off the belly, one should simply place a hand on top...

 ...or below the tummy, preferably both.

 And here's the last one. A less than flowy skirt with a loose T-shirt above it.

I could always have thrown on a hoodie for a quick cover-up. And black always would make it look smaller, while hiding shadows of a belly curve. I never had to use any drastic distraction measures, like bright lipstick or a hat. Usually, having a cute toddler on my hip was enough for everyone.

Oh! And before I took all those other photos, here is the one I sent to my sisters:

(Excuse the mess.)

I wanted to point out what visual manipulations I used on this picture. It's a tight shirt. The horizontal stripes draw attention to the curve, and most importantly: It was in the evening after dinner. Besides a uterus, there's also a stomach in there, digesting some food. When you're past the point of holding it all in, you've gotta pay attention to the little things.

Girls' Night Out

It was hard to leave Emmett with Tim. He was just crying so much. I read The Five Chinese Brothers to the boys, and got ready to go. (Here I am saying goodbye before getting dressed to go.)(I had good reason to be worried! How would Emmett get enough to eat?!)
The girls and I were meeting at a bar called The Lincoln Lounge. My mouth kept wanting to say "Lincoln Logs" so it always came out "Lincoln Lodge." The Lincoln Lounge is an Abraham Lincoln-themed hipster joint. Along the dirt parking lot is a simple white mural with an old-fashioned pistol motif. In the middle is a giant wanted poster for "THE MURDERER" with a picture of John Wilkes Booth.

Despite my best efforts to arrive fashionably late, I was still the first one there. It was dark, but the main room was small enough that I knew the girls weren't there. I sat down in an antique armchair by a coffee table. The other chairs in the cluster were occupied by a group, so I did lame things to look less alone. I messed with my phone, went to the bathroom, and stared up at the walls.

It had red and silver saloon-style wallpaper. Up behind the bar was a series of shelves full of mugs. I had read earlier on Google Maps about this. Apparently, if you get around to sampling all 50 beers on their list, you get a mug with Abe's profile on it. However, you don't just take it home. It gets put on the shelf above a plaque with your name on it to use every time you come in.

I looked up at a caricature of Lincoln with big ears, and his bow tie caught my attention like an old friend. "Huh?! How is that possible?" I thought. "Where have I seen that type of bow tie before?" Then I realized that it wasn't a type of tie, but a certain tie. Abraham Lincoln wore a bow tie for a photograph, and that one photograph is probably the best portrait of him that we have. The artist must have looked at that picture when painting this portrait. While Lincoln's features were distorted and exaggerated, his tie was drawn exactly right. I once did a drawing of Abraham Lincoln made from his quotes. I had spent a lot of time staring at his picture once. It was six years ago, but once you draw something, it will never look the same to you again.

Two girls arrived. Katie, who organized the outing, and Holly. Another Katie from church was already there. It turned out that Katie and Holly had never been to this bar before, and they deemed it too shady for a girls' outing. We were going to go somewhere else instead. The other Katie is the type of person who is so friendly that she knows everyone. In a bar of only 30 people, she probably knew at least 5. Katie went to pry Friendly Katie away from her conversations so we could go.

Holly said, "There're other people from church here! It must not be too bad." (We left anyway, but her comment confirmed our status as a "hipster church" and this as a "hipster joint.")

We went to a casino instead. As a resident of Reno, you have to see casinos as venues. It's like a giant, brightly lit mall, only instead of department stores, there are various clubs, restaurants, and shops. All the empty spaces (on certain floors) are filled with slot machines and game tables. If you were to look at Reno's skyline, you can see the giant sphere building. That's where we were.

We went to club Aura, which was a chic bar with a cool interior. All class was lost, however, when we saw the TV screens. They featured lady silhouettes dancing... not unlike a moving itunes ad. It was pretty empty. Some of us got a drink, Friendly Katie saw someone she knew, and then we left.

The girls wanted to go to a place called Brew Brothers, but the line to get in was really long. Near the line, we watched some fat girls get into an all-out cat fight. A security guard from the casino and a bouncer from the bar escorted them away while the crowd cheered and laughed. It felt like high school. We skirted around the aftermath: some angry friends, spilled ice, and a missing shoe. Then we decided to find a place to eat because I was hungry enough to eat casino food.

At the restaurant, we discussed life and where God was leading us. We prayed for the busser who looked like she was having a really bad day.

We did head back over to Brew Brothers because Katie was really hoping to dance before the night was over. I wished for bowling or a movie instead, but that was just because I'm a lame dancer. It was low-key, though, and lots of fun. One young guy kept looking my direction. I could tell he and his friend were on the prowl, hoping to make some new friends. Sure enough, they made their way over, and one guy introduced himself to Friendly Katie. The music was too loud to hear anything, but I saw them shake hands. This was a strictly no-guys-allowed outing, so she did the subtle "I'm a jerk." act. She said something in Holly's ear, turning her body to close off our tiny circle once again. It was a perfectly played rejection without having to make eye contact. I felt sorry for the guys who looked dorky and friendly, but if they were hoping to pick up chicks that night, she saved them some trouble. We were only in that club long enough to dance for a couple songs, and when we left, I found out what Friendly Katie had said to Holly: "I told him my name was Patty!"

People Watching on a Walk

Today was kind of cold, so I decided to walk around the stores close to our house. I didn't need to buy anything, but I figured I could walk longer without getting bored.

First, though, I had to stop by Kays to get some jewelry cleaned and inspected. An older man with a southern drawl was getting some jewelry inspected to see if any of it was real or not. When he left, it was me and the two employees. They asked me about my pregnancy for a while. The older lady finally finished up the paperwork and came back to talk a bit more. "...well, I've still got a week, so I'm just out walking today." I said in parting.

...but the lady didn't hand me my paper. First, she leaned over the glass showcase and looked into my eyes. "But you might... not have long... to wait!" I was mesmerized by the way her eye make-up matched her green and purple outfit, and also by her weirdness.

I stepped dazed out of the store, and as I got into my car, it hit me! A contraction, and also who she reminded me of. She's one of those seemingly normal middle-aged women from the movies of the 80s/early 90s who end up being magical. I'm surprised she didn't wink at me and then disappear. The only way it would've made a better story, would be if I were in the hospital right now giving birth!

Later, I was in Maurice's (not that I have any need to buy clothing right now). The employee yelled a greeting, and I saw her flash a Knowing Smile. That's when they would smile anyway, but their smile is different because they know something. It reminded me of last May before I looked pregnant and when Tim was getting his haircut. The lady walked him to the cash register, and when I got up, she gave me a Knowing Smile, not just a polite smile. After we left, I said, "You told her I was your wife and that I was pregnant, didn't you?" He did. You see, if she had just assumed I was his girlfriend, she would've given me a polite smile, but she felt like she knew something about me, so it was different. Girls are weird like that.

So I had to do a double-take at this lady at Maurice's. I remembered seeing her there this past summer. She was a beautiful, ready-to-pop pregnant lady at a time I was wishing my belly were more obvious. Although I've never bought anything from that store in my life, I remember going in again with Tim to kill some time once, and she wasn't pregnant anymore. I had wondered whether she had a boy or a girl, and how the birth went. Not wanting to look like a creeper, I didn't say anything. Today, after I recognized her, I was able to translate her smile to mean, "Yeah, you're pregnant, but I really know what that's like! Cool!"

And to prove that I was right, she asked me if she could "rub my belly" and asked about my pregnancy. But not the standard interview that most strangers give me. It was different because she's close to my age, and had just gone through it. Then she told me about her 4 month old son. She said she was so sick of being pregnant that she was ready to get induced, but her baby came before they could. I was really happy to get to hear about how things turned out; I thought I'd never know!

By then I had wandered far from my car, so I made my way back and then went grocery shopping. I stopped at Jack-in-the-Box after for a quick supper on my way home.

The only other customers in the restaurant were a boy and his dad. The boy was probably six or seven, and his dad wasn't too old. They seemed so excited to be eating out together, but not like it was a rare occurrence. It seemed like he was just going to work with his dad for the afternoon. They were genuinely happy to be in each other's company. I don't think I was making all that up; it seemed pretty obvious. All the same, it was nice to sit there by myself and imagine Tim and our son doing the same thing years from now.

Sharing Birhdays

My dog has my birthday. The vet was sure to remind me by sending her an elaborate E-card. I also share my birthday with Halloween. (It's a pretty good holiday to have a birthday on.)

But I also share my birthday with the state of Nevada.

I read somewhere that out here they celebrate their state day more than any other state... which isn't really saying much. But there's still a parade in Carson City, and pretty much everyone gets the last Friday of the month off work.

Thanks to elementary school, I spent a lot of Januaries learning about Kansas-y things like bison, sunflowers, and tiger salamanders, but I felt pretty ignorant about Nevada, so I thought I'd do a little learnin' today, and share the more interesting things. (since it is the acceptable day to celebrate)

Nevada became a state exactly 125 years before I was born. That was during the civil war, so a ribbon on the emblem of their flag reads: "Battle Born."

The state flower is sagebrush, which is really pretty for the desert, but around this time of year, it starts to smell a little like feet.

This is the driest state in the USA. Average rainfall: seven inches. (Which is why my hair doesn't curl anymore.)

We have the Comstock Lode, which is the nation's largest silver deposit. And because of that, we also have Virginia City. In its time, its population was 20,000, but now it's just a touristy ghost down of about 800.

We also have Area 51 and the Hoover Dam... Both pretty exciting!

And last, contrary to popular belief, they're called Nevadans, not Nevadicans.

Diet?!

Tim put himself on a diet about a month ago. It's part of this whole fitness program he wants to go through. It's hard to cook meals with extremely limited fats and carbs, but it's good for Tim.

It could be pretty annoying, BUT he's very willing to cook his own things most of the time, and helps think of groceries. It's also a convenient time because I eat several small meals a day anyway, so it's like we're both on our own. Another benefit is that he's also forced to be creative about possible meals.

As a result, I wanted to brag about some of the meals we've had lately. Last night, I cut up a pineapple. Tim grilled tilapia in some of that Mae Ploy sweet chili sauce, and then grilled pinapple on top. It was actually pretty amazing, and I cooked alongside him, substituting chicken in for the meat in my skillet. The night before it was Cajun spiced turkey patties with sweet corn on the cob. Here's a picture of Tim's lunch one of the past days:

I don't like shrimp or mushrooms, but it definitely looked delicious!

October is My Sunday School Month

Stories from Children's Church

One boy was looking at me for a little bit. Then, to the shock of me and my fellow teacher, he blurted out, "Why don't you take your shirt off?" When we asked him what he meant, he explained that he noticed I was wearing two shirts. I guess the idea of an undershirt seems excessive to a five year old boy. I'm starting to realize just how much I will have to learn with my son.

A little girl said she would pray for our snack while we were in the middle of the lesson. After the lesson, we passed out drinks and napkins. A boy said "Where's our crackers?!" The other teacher said, "Well, we have to pray fir-" but before he could finish the word 'first,' the girl interrupted him by practically yelling, "DEAR GOD!" We all missed the first line in a mad scramble to bow our heads and fold our hands, and then I missed the rest of her 'outside voice' prayer because I was concentrating on not laughing.

Next week:

As we were going around the circle, introducing ourselves and our favorite animals, a girl raised her hand out of turn. "Yes?" I asked. "It looks like that's the baby's nose." she said as she pointed at my stomach. "Oh! That's my belly button!" I smiled as the girl looked bashful, and as a few of the other kids said, "Oooh!" like they had been wondering all along.

Then a little boy blurted out, "How does the baby get out of there?!" My shock at the question helped me stall long enough to assess the room's reactions. Most of the kids looked like that was a good question they hadn't thought to ask... until now. A few kids giggled, one of which said, "I don't think we're supposed to talk about that." I was in mixed company. I realized I couldn't get away with a truthful, but vague answer. The few kids who seemed to know probably wouldn't let me get away with a lie. Ironically the lesson I was about to teach was over the ninth commandment, anyway. After all this pondering, I ended up giving the children a seven second pause that they used to get bored with the subject, and turned back to their favorite animals. Whew!

Next week:

One boy interrupted the lesson with his hand raised. He then told a random but short story about a pocket knife. Of course, the result was that every other boy in the class had their hand raised before he had finished. The teacher doing the lesson let each boy tell his knife story. One went like this. "One time, I cut my finger off with a pocket knife. But then my mom blowed it back on. I don't know why she blowed it, but now it's on for good." He then started pulling on his pinkie finger as hard as he could.

Throughout this series on the ten commandments, we often stress that everyone sins. To enforce this, I had the children play the "Have you ever..." game with a circle of chairs. I went first with, "Have you ever told a lie?" The other teacher caught on and even some of the kids did too with questions like, "Have you ever not obeyed your parents?" or "Have you ever sinned?" One five year old stood up with "Have you ever killed your dog?" There was a pause, and I managed to hold in my laugh. "Well! I guess that's nobody! It looks like you'll have to go again!"

Baby Supplies

In an attempt to look for an "I love my Uncle" onesie for our coming niece, Tim stumbled on a lot of cool baby stuff. Here are a couple of our favorites:

yep... it's a Mr. T rubber ducky.

That time

It's that time of year again!

It's still summer, but the school year has already started. It's still pretty warm out, but a little bit of cool weather turns everyone's minds to autumn.

It makes me want to put on a plaid shirt, and to open all the windows if it ever gets colder outside than in. I purchase apple cider and make roast for dinner. I get excited about the candy aisles even though Halloween is another month and a half away.

We've had a few cloudy days lately, bringing our highs down to below 80 degrees, but I know that's nothing compared to the wonderful weather in Kansas! (High of 58 today?!)

Dale mentioned something I forgot about: the smell of turning on the propane fireplace.

Are there any other excited-for-fall behaviors I forgot about?

Productive Pictures

My last post was beginning to touch on my life as a housewife once again, when I realized I needed pictures.

Here's what took up my day: I made a LOT of pickles. I didn't have my good recipe, so I looked one up which I'm not sure is as good, or as simple. This time around I learned that it's hardly worth it when you have to pay for jars and cucumbers. Next time I make pickles, I will have grown my own, and hopefully will have enough heat-sealing jars saved up so I won't have to buy more. But the prettier jars will be nicer for giving away.

Another project I've started on lately is the guestroom/baby's room. It's been good for storage, and already has a bedroom set. I'm still searching for a crib. Other than that, it's pretty empty, and I'm going to need to make curtains and decorate somehow. I've started collecting frames, and I hope to arrange them on the wall with fun pictures and prints inside. For random frames to work together, they'll all have to be the same color, so here are three I've painted black:
On a side note, I searched carefully for those specific boxes in the trashcan when looking for something disposable to paint on. Tim and I bought some Chicken Cordon-bleu type things at Walmart. They were a great idea, but a little bland for the price. I hope to check out what they're supposed to taste like in the ingredients, and perhaps make some sort of casserole out of it!

I've been looking for a certain type of chair at Goodwill. Perhaps I was looking at the "nicer" Goodwill, but when I finally went out of my way to stop by the other one, I found this!

I've been wanting an extra chair around. I was hoping for one that would look cool by the bookcase, but could be added to either the dining room or the living room if needed. It doesn't look like the most comfortable chair to sit in in the living room, but I've wanted to try my hand at upholstery. Anyway, so here are the colors of our living room I need to match it to:I've had this blue and brown fabric for a long time now, and I finally decided on what to paint the wood!
"Tim, the guy didn't card me for buying silver spray paint!"

"Well, you are pregnant."

"...I guess... and I was also buying 8 lbs of cucumbers and some canning supplies."

Productive again!

The other day, my sister asked me what I've done since I've quit work. Today is only day 3 since quitting, but there was so much to tell her.

Saturday: (last day of work) Before work, Tim and I went with our Bible Study to Lake Tahoe. They showed us the best beach on the lake, and it was beautiful! too bad I had forgotten my camera! Look up "Lake Tahoe Sand Harbor" on google images. Do it! We had sunscreen issues, and ended up with horrible leg sunburns. That night, I went into work for my last few hours!

Sunday: I started helping with LS Kids, our children's church. On days I teach, I'll get to church around 8:00 for a meeting and prayer meeting, then Tim will meet me at 9:00 for service, and then at the 11:00 service, I'll watch people's kids!

Funny Things from the K-2nd grade class:

• Every kid asked me if I had a baby in my tummy.
• The first one was a little girl who started poking my belly button as she asked.
• "My mom's belly is bigger than yours; it's THIS big!" (standing on tip-toes to stick out her belly out even further)
• A little girl tried to kiss me on the lips.
• A kid ran into the lemonade pitcher, spilling it all over the counter covered with papers and snack materials.
• During the commotion, the Coordinator popped in the class for a second to show off to the 7 yr olds that he could catch a cheeze-it in his mouth. (Why he thought that was a good idea is beyond me!) needless to say, by the time we got the juice mess cleaned up, we turned around to find the floor covered in stomped-on crackers!

Of course it was crazy, but I've always believed that age to be insane. It's nothing I can't handle, and even if I didn't like it that much (and I do like it), it'd still be worth it for the preservice prayer meeting!

I read 4 books on childbirth, particularly the natural kind. I got lots of sleep, and did lots of dishes. The last couple days have been very productive, but I think I'll take pictures tomorrow and make a more interesting post about my new projects!

Walmart Greeters

Do you ever notice the Walmart greeters? Last night, I had to get some milk and bread, and I started thinking about them. I always try to acknowledge them when I come in. Usually it's just a smile and a nod. It's not like you can even hear what they're trying to say because of the giant fan on the way in. The best I can do is a vague attempt to read their lips, which hardly ever works because greeters are usually older and mumble.

But seriously, it's their job to stand there and greet everyone who walks in the door, and they're gonna do it, even though no one can hear them, and most people ignore them.

I'm reminded of a line from Galaxy Quest:

Listen, I've got ONE job on this lousy ship! It's stupid, but I'm gonna do it, okay?!

It also reminds me of a TV show about a baby that Eden showed Tim and me while we were in Peru.

Work

My experience in retail is coming to a close. (I have two shifts left!) One thing I've been thinking about lately is how many crazy things I hear from customers, and that I don't have that luxury. I am always watching what I say.

Little Girl: "Are you pregnant?"

Me: "Yep!"

Little Girl: "With what?"

What I wanted to say: "an alien."

What I said: "A little boy!"

Me: "And can I just get your name with that?"

Lady: "Penny *****"

What I wanted to say: "That's my dogs name!"

What I said: "I really like that name a lot!"

Me: "We're out of the smaller bags, so you're gonna have to get this big one."

Lady: "That's okay! These bags are so cute!"

What I wanted to say: "Yeah! they've worked as excellent barf bags throughout this pregnancy!"

What I said: "Yeah! I re-use mine all the time!"

Serenade

This is Tim's serenading song:

Listen to it.

All These Things by Stephen Speaks

When I first met Tim, he'd sing it to his friend Jon to be funny. Before too long, he had learned it on the guitar, and not too long after, he began to play it for me.

It's pretty cheesy with lines like "Maybe it's her eyes, gently searching my soul [...] but I think mostly it's her smile" But it's also got a few good ones like "...or her eyebrows when I do something stupid." and "Maybe it's her smell, the lotion she wears, or how my hands smell like Country Pear for days."

Like it or not (it's too familiar a song for me to decide), I only have to hear the first few notes, and I know I'm about to be serenaded. Practicing before church, Tim would only have to play those notes on the guitar to get my laugh from across the room.

This morning, Tim was playing his guitar. I stepped outside to feel the temperature, and I heard the beginning of the song. "Oh no!" I thought. "I'm not in there to receive it!" I was back inside in a second anyway, only to hear Tim singing something like this:

Maybe it's her face, black and white with a spot

or how she snorts and jumps around.

Maybe it's her nose, gently searching my crotch,

but I think mostly it's her gas.

That's as far as he got serenading the dog before we were both laughing pretty hard.

But it makes me think of the endless verses that could be written about our dog's features.

A few Baby Things

I am in the process of putting in my two weeks notice at work. I have one week to go. I quit for a few different reasons. First, being on my feet for 4-6 hours at a time has gotten harder. It's not great exercise, and it renders me useless for the rest of the day, preventing me from getting real exercise.

Just now, I was having trouble spelling exercise. I've noticed that in the past half year. I switch around the C and the S, or I think there's a Z in there somewhere. It gets to the point that when I back-click on my misspelled word, the correct one isn't even an option! Embarrassing, I know. I just asked Tim how to spell it and remarked "Tim, this is so weird. The word has become foreign to me!" He replied with, "Uh oh! Exercise has become foreign to you. That is not a good sign!"

I also quit work because there were a lot of things I had planned to do during this pregnancy, and I never got much of a start on them.

Like, for example, finding a used, inexpensive crib and other baby supplies. (A friend at Bible study told us that in all their wedding planning, his wife never let him use the word "cheap." "Inexpensive" sounded much more classy and didn't imply poor quality as well.) So I'm doing my best to find inexpensive, not cheap baby supplies. We will be down here for a year longer, and then we've got to try to move everything back home. And besides, every mom is different, and I think I may be the type who doesn't use many of those baby products that the magazines say you just have to have.

I'm interrupting this train of thought to talk about the baby himself because he's been kicking like crazy the whole time I've been writing. The first feel-able kick happened on my way to Kansas last month. Two weeks followed where I tried to get people to feel the subtle nudges that only I could feel before. As soon as we began to fly to Peru, it got to the point where one could simply watch the kicks. I'll have to be very huge and ready for him to be born before I could get tired of all the kicking. I'm sure it can hurt at that point, but right now it's so much fun to watch, and it makes me feel like there's actually a person inside me.

When we found out we were pregnant, it didn't feel real. When we first heard the heartbeat, it was confirming, and pretty cool, but even the ultrasound didn't make the baby as real to me as feeling him move around. Sometimes it's like he's doing somersaults. Sometimes it's a little nudge on one side. I've had nudges on several sides at once like jumping jacks, and a limb that sticks out and just pushes outward for a moment. I've even had a clear, head-sized lump on the side of my belly for a while. Yesterday at Bible study, it was like he was trying an Uma Thurman-style escape on the upper right side of my stomach.

So in the next few weeks, I will enter the last trimester of this whole pregnancy, and I will do it with more time on my hands. I hope to enjoy this stage, and to document it (for the next time I'm in the first trimester, hanging my head over the toilet, and needing some reminding) and to put into good use that nesting instinct that's kicked in!

Part II, Seattle

Further around the peninsula, we stopped for gas in Port Angeles. It was sunny, so we could see Canada. There was also some sort of festival going on around the courthouse. It seemed like a place I would've liked to spend some time, but we didn't have time. 101 was only a two-lane, 55 mph highway that slowed down to 40 at every Bentley-sized town. I hadn't realized it would take so long. I had planned on driving all the way around the Puget Sound to get to Seattle. It wasn't too far, and we would be able to see more things. I realized that if we wanted to get to our hotel in Seattle before too late, we'd have to take a ferry. When Tim said he had never been on a ferry, I said, "Well, then we HAVE to go!" It ended up saving us a lot of time and money, of course.

It was exciting to get out and walk around on the boat. There were so many little kids running all over the deck, making quick friends and playing games to stay out of the cold wind. This was Tim's first time in the area, let alone Seattle, and his first time on a ferry, so that was exciting too. The ferry docked and let us out just down the street from our hotel.

"This is going to be an expensive trip," Tim said, "but it's the time to do it." It's the only time we live close enough that we'd want to drive to Washington, and with a baby coming, it's the last time we'd want to stay in a four star hotel.

The hotel had a lodge feel, but with extra class. What I loved most, was that it was on its own pier, within walking distance to everything we wanted to see. We didn't arrive till 7:00 and nearly everything around there is only open from 10:00-6:00. We were forced to have supper at a Red Robbin, but we got a chance to walk down the piers and to get an idea of places we'd like to see the next day.

In the morning, we stopped at a sourdough bakery for breakfast. It was all prospector-themed, which was kind of fun, considering that's a big part of the history of that area. It was hard to get my necessary amount of calcium in while on vacation, but we were sure to order milk at least once every day. We sat out on the dock, eating a pecan sticky bun (almost as good as Momma's) and a cake-like blueberry muffin. When we finished, we got up, and went next door to the Seattle Aquarium.

The aquarium was pretty fun! They even had an underwater dome. We didn't stay late enough to watch a scuba-diver feed the fish, but it was still a fun place. Our favorite parts were the hands-on tide pools, where the sea anemones would grab your finger, and the octopus, who was in a small-ish tank which made him more fun to watch and easier to see. Other fun exhibits were otters, seals, and jellyfish.

We had lunch in our hotel's fancy restaurant. It wasn't extremely pricey, but the food was fancy, and we had a good waterfront view. When we were done, we headed to the Olympic Sculpture Park, just outside of the Seattle Art Museum. In one of my classes at WSU, we were talking about public art, and had to watch a video about the park, and about one of its exhibits in particular. This exhibit started out as art, but I personally feel it is the type of thing that belongs in a science museum. Either way, it was interesting to learn about. The guy went into the rain forest and picked out a fallen tree. He was fascinated with how much life one dead tree could hold. He and his team collected samples of wildlife on the tree, and then they carefully cut out a giant section of log, and tried to remove it as carefully as possible. They brought the log to the sculpture park and built a greenhouse around it. They made sure all of the species were represented there, and visitors can go in and experience this decaying log. Unfortunately, visitors weren't allowed in unless a volunteer from the museum was there to supervise. We were able to look in the windows, but that was my last chance to see a Banana Slug.

It was still early in the afternoon, so Tim suggested we head on up to the Space Needle, since it looked like it wouldn't be too far of a walk. There were a lot of things to see around the needle. The building that held the Experience Music Project and the Science Fiction Museum had really fun architecture. It seemed like an interesting place to visit, but when I looked up their website, I decided otherwise. (Current exhibits: Star Trek and Nirvana) We went on up in the Space Needle. It was extremely crowded. I don't know if I'll ever want to go to the top again. It was like being at the top of any tall building. It seemed more interesting to look at from the outside. I did, however, like hearing about the World Fair in the 60s. Their theme was "The Space Age" and they had built the Needle and the Monorail just for that occasion. Those and the architecture of the Pacific Science Center reminded me so much of futuristic views from the past.

There was a Folk Life Festival in full swing spread out all around the old fairgrounds. Tim and I decided to walk through it. As the name suggested, it was a vague enough theme that the festival had everything. Anyone with wares to sell bought a booth, and any musician set out a guitar case and started performing. Although I never really figured out the Folk Life parts from the rest, we wandered through until we found some cotton candy, and then headed back. I was starting to feel extremely bloated from lunch (I'm not very well able to eat full meals anymore, with less room down there) and we were both getting pretty worn out.

"You know, Tim? I'm starting to feel like a cartoon frog! I've got a big round belly, and long, skinny legs." ~ me feeling boated after our lunch

We rested, and then I woke Tim up from his nap. "Let's get you some fish and chips before everything closes again!" I suggested. We headed out again by the water, and discussed what we would do next. Tim had already decided to pull the plug on his plan to go to Vancouver long before we started on our trip. We would save some money, the trouble of crossing the border, and he wouldn't have to ask off any work for the trip. "Let's just start heading home in the morning." Tim suggested over his supper. I agreed, but there was still one place I wanted to go: Pikes Place Market.

After wandering around for a while, we finally found the marketplace, but everything had just closed. A sign informed us that it wouldn't be opening again until 10 the next morning. "We have to leave earlier than that, or we won't get home till three in the morning." Tim said. I was very disappointed that we had missed it. After thinking it over, I decided that it was one of the things I really wanted to do, that we may never come back to Seattle, and that at least to me, it would be worth it if it meant getting home late the next night. Tim understood, and adjusted our plans to spend a small amount of time at the market the next morning, (knowing that I couldn't be expected to stay up that late, and that he would be the one driving the last leg anyway.)

I was so excited to be in the market. Pretty much all of it was indoors, due to the rainy weather of Seattle. There were several floors, and we entered in through the lowest level. It reminded me of an old subway station, and of Park Elementary. There were several daycares in that bottom corner of Pikes Place, for all the parents who had to make a living here. We passed all kinds of fascinating shops, but our first stop was the original Starbucks. I liked the old signs and logos, and I liked how although at one time, the cabinets and counters were supposed to look modern, really were actually worn down with age, not just as intentional decorating like all the rest.

"Pleasie, no squeezie!" ~handmade sign next to the largest avocados I'd ever seen.

I bought a cheap bouquet of beautiful flowers for the family who kept Penny in their back yard for us, and a small basket of raspberries. I enjoyed looking at all the fresh fruit, the souvenirs, and the fresh fish on ice.

"Why don't you bring those tulips over here a second?! Yeah! You with the basketball player!" ~an Irish fishmonger

We didn't stay too long, and didn't hit any rush hours on the way home. We were able to take a modified route on the way back that was two hours shorter than we expected. We went through several state parks in California. The roads were twisty, very dark, and rainy. We saw at least twenty deer, and a bobcat. There were a couple close calls with some deer on the road. Fortunately, they always happened to be on the side of the road closest to where they were already headed, so our swerving only scared them away from us.

We got home around one in the morning, and slept till one in the afternoon the next day!

Washington Babymoon Part One

Our trip to Washington was great! Parts were well planned, and parts were left up to us to be spontaneous, so it seems we were able to get in everything we really wanted to do!

Grace: "I hope you don't mind me navigating like this."

Tim: "Oh, it's okay. I wasn't even listening."

The drive up was a little long, and we went through 4 snow storms, at least 6 rainstorms, and several sunny spots in between. The changes in the weather really mixed things up. We enjoyed the scenery. We went through Nevada-like wilderness (we weren't in Nevada very long, of course), picturesque green hills and mountains of California, and some boring parts of Oregon before driving through a mountain pass just before Portland. The pass felt like Colorado at first, but on the way down, the trees were different. I woke Tim up to look at the extremely tall trees pressed right up against the highway. Oregon isn't famous for its tall trees, but I'm not sure I remember ever seeing trees quite so tall. The mountains up there were different too, with ghosts of clouds and fog just hanging out a little too low on the hills. (I'm describing all this because it was impossible for me to get pictures. Tim was sleeping, I was driving, and the road was too fast and winding to park. There were countless turn-off areas, but only on the other side of the road. I figured we would take the same route back, but as I learned when I was younger, there never is such a thing as 'on the way back')

"But I have to pump your gas for you. It's the law." ~station attendant in Oregon

Visiting the Olympic peninsula really should be more of a camping trip. We enjoyed driving through Aberdeen, a cute little port town with small, old houses, and ancient sea-worthy vessels in its river. Then we went up to lake Quinalt to stay the night. It was dark when we got there. I didn't realize our suite came with a jacuzzi bath, and while I was in it, Tim found the button and turned it on low. We were both really tired from the long day and late night, so we found the pathetic, fart-like bubbles hilarious. In the morning, we woke up to a huge, fog-covered lake and the sounds of rain forest birds. We wanted to get on the road, but the office didn't open yet, so we went on a small path to the world's largest spruce tree.

101 (the highway around the peninsula) took us further from the rainforest and closer to the ocean. "Tim! according to the map, we should be right along the Pacific right now! Stop at the first sign you see!" I suggested. It was cold and cloudy, but the small beach campground was full (it was Memorial Day weekend) Most of the people there were camping and fishing. I hoped our Kansas tags would explain our excitement as we ran around on the pebble-covered beach, poking washed-up sea weed with sticks, and taking driftwood. Tim wanted to burn it later; he hopes that the salt on the wood will make a pretty fire.

Then the highway curved back toward the Olympic National park, and we paid to get into the Hoh rain forest. This was the part of the trip I was most excited for. In fifth grade, we learned about the different ecosystems of the world, particularly those in the United States. We watched a video about the temperate rain forests of the northwest, and about the large banana slugs in them. Ever since then, I had wanted to go. "I can't believe you guys hadn't been yet!" Tim said. I told him that by the time I was in fifth grade, we had already been to Washington, and didn't see much of a reason to go back. We didn't see any giant orange slugs, but we did some fun pictures, which I'll upload later!

"I'll Nav your gate!" ~Tim, after I suggested that he take over driving while I navigate

Next we were back on the road and headed toward Forks for lunch. Tim insisted we take pictures by the Welcome to Forks sign. I felt embarrassed to do so, but I knew that several young girls had their picture taken by this very sign each day, and no one would think anything of it. We went into their visitors center, between to a run-down History of Logging museum, and an old statue dedicated to the loggers that founded the place. The visitors center had all but forgotten logging. When we walked in, we were surrounded by cardboard cut-outs of actors, and Twilight t-shirts. There were two old women running the place. They talked about past look-alike contests, and their hopes that when the actors were done with the series, they would come visit Forks (having never set foot there in their lives). It was pretty pathetic, so Tim and I decided to get something to eat as soon as possible. We sidestepped a pack of teenage girls getting their pictures taken next to a truck parked outside (one similar to the one in the movies) and left to find a restaurant.

We stopped at a crowded pizza restaurant and hoped to just blend in. I thought we were doing pretty well till one table got up, and the old man seated there greeted every other family by name on his way out. I guess in such a small town, visitors will have to stand out. Tim said they had to have been used to people passing through before all this Twilight stuff happened. It after all, is the only town with restaurants and stores between Grays Harbor and Port Angeles (That's a 3 hour drive). As we waited for our food, I tried to guess what the town was like. It seemed to be about the size of Halstead. The citizens were used to lots of visitors, but they took it in stride. Every restaurant carried a "Twilight Menu" available on request with expensive food and Twilight-themed foods.

" Porta-bella-mushroom pasta, Bellaburger...

**All entres come with Edbread and Swan Salad" ~Twilight menu

We also went to one more beach, La Push. Compared to the other beach we stopped at, this one was more famous and actually had sand, so it was crowded for the weekend. I wanted to see some tide pools, but I had no idea when or were to look. It was interesting to be on another indian reservation. It was small, so the houses were all very close together. There were certain smells the same as the Mission, with added scent from the ocean, and their small fishing harbor.

Yesterday's Story... and The beginning of our Nursery

Yesterday started out to be a great day. I was on my way to work, a little earlier than usual, when I started coughing. There's been a lot of extra stuff in my throat every morning. I don't know if it's the pregnancy, or just springtime allergies in Nevada.

Anyway, one second I was coughing, and the next, it had hit my gag reflex, and I had to throw up. At first, I thought I could just smile and get over it. (It's nearly impossible to vomit while smiling; using the muscles prevents one from gagging.) But then I knew that wouldn't be possible. I changed lanes to exit as soon as possible. I should've went on to the shoulder and turned on my blinkers, but I didn't think I would actually vomit in my lap. Which I did. I got off the highway and then had to wait at a stoplight before I could turn into whatever was nearest, a Burger King.

There, I went straight in to the bathroom, hoping no one would notice the mess on my pants. I stripped down and cleaned up the best I could. Then I explained my situation to the middle-aged Hispanic woman at the cash register. "Is there any way I could borrow a... bucket or something to clean up my car?" She left and returned with a giant roll of brown paper towels. She then proceeded to make me a wad the size of a beach ball. "I hope this helps." She said. "I'm so sorry..." I began to apologize when she stopped me. "I understand." she said, looking me in the eyes like she'd been there.

I arrived to work barely in time, but my manager was in a pickle as well. She had lost her store key. This bought me time to run to Old Navy to purchase a new pair of pants, but I no longer had the time to clean out my car before we opened. There weren't many of us there, so we remained busy. I wasn't able to clean out my car till I got home. I'm not sure that mark will ever come completely out of the driver's seat...

For the second half of this post, I have started to think about where Baby will stay.

Here is our guestroom. It's pretty small, but I think we'll be able to make it work!

In Reno there's an upholstery store that is slowly going out of business... I wonder if that's just a ploy to sell more fabric. Anyway, some of the fabric is extremely cheap, and some is only kind-of cheap. I went in a few days ago to pick out the beginning of the Nursery's style. Here's what I came up with! There will be lots of giraffe print, with the other two to accent it. I think mostly the room will be yellow and brown.